Posts tagged ‘Mark Twain’

May 7, 2015

Thursday Quote Du Jour: Huh? What’s that? Who are you people? What am I doing here?

by Janie Jones
Of all the things I've lost

Stolen from somewhere in the bowels of the internet. I can’t be more specific, I’ve lost my mind not to mention the citation.


August 29, 2013

Thursday Quote Du Jour #7: What do you do when you’re stranded?

by Janie Jones

I took Rupert for a walk this morning.  We’ve been having a heat wave in the Great White North for the last week and a half, and while it was still very humid, at least the temperature was bearable.  It’s been an age since I took Rupert walking, and I think we both have missed it.  However, it does remind me of my own walking quote:

“A walk with the dog is not so much a walk as it is a sniff with some trotting to the next sniff interspersed.”

I think my new quote though will be, “Always check the poop bag dispenser to ensure it has poop bags before you leave the house.”

Rupert decided to pinch his loaf on a neatly manicured lawn just the block over.  Then, to my horror, I realized my dispenser was empty.  So a frantic moment ensued when after patting myself down I discovered no pockets with a stray tissue or spare clothing with which to scoop his prize weight loaf, the refrain of that childhood chant rolling through my brain all the while:

“What do you do when you’re stranded?  You act like a man and you wipe it with your hand, and that’s what you do when you’re stranded.”

Not ready to scoop warm dookey with my bare hands, I desperately scanned the lawn for any large leaves to no avail.  Then, just when I thought all was lost, I spotted, blowing toward me in the wind, a mostly empty popcorn bag.

Ahh, thank you Universe for the occasional liter bug.

Who’d have ever thought I’d say that?

So now for a real quote:

“Golf is a good walk spoiled.”

-Mark Twain

I cannot really say much about this quote as I have never attempted real golfing, but I used to quite enjoy mini golfing, many years ago.  On a nice pleasant day, golf on a pretty course doesn’t sound so horrible.  If it didn’t require me to hit a tiny ball across long distances to an equally tiny hole in the ground I can’t see, it might even be fun.  But, still, I think I’ll stick to your traditional walking sans ball, club, and hole in the ground.

So, not being able to say much about golf, I would adjust Mark Twain’s words just a bit:

“An empty poop bag dispenser is a good walk soiled.”