Archive for ‘Spudville’

August 27, 2015

Spudisims #21: Some people are different

by Janie Jones

The spud’s dad was telling me this story last night.

He’s a history buff, and collects figurines of the American Presidents.  He apparently has them all. The spud was looking at them the other day and apparently picked up Obama and said, “Daddy, you know, this President is different from the others.”

He apparently replied, “Yes, yes he is.”

“Daddy, why is he sooooo skinny?”

August 11, 2015

Tuesday Titters, courtesy of the Spud

by Janie Jones

We saw this VW bug parked by our friend Peggy’s house the other day.  The Spud thought it was cutie.

VWbug cropped

Then she told me this joke:

What part of your car is made out of snakes?

The windshield vipers.

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August 7, 2015

Spudisms #20: Saving the Farm Economy

by Janie Jones

The spud was telling me about how she saw Duncan (the farm cat) catch and eat a finch.

Spud:  Duncan caught two finches.  He ate them while they were still moving.

Me:  Yeah, that is sometimes how it happens in the wild.

Spud:  I tried to save one of the little birds.  After all, it’s part of the farm economy.

Me, after laughing heartily picturing the economy of finches and barn cats on the farm:  I’m sorry Spud, that just struck me as really funny.  But, I think you mean ecology, not economy.  Economy is more about finances and money, like I practice economy when I plan a budget and am careful about how I spend my money.  Economy is also about the financial state of a group.  Ecology is about nature and how animals and plants are interrelated.

Spud:  I thought that was the ecosystem.

Me:  Yes, they are kind of related.  You could say ecology is the study of an ecosystem.  It’s good you know what an ecosystem is, though.

 

 

July 26, 2015

That’s my Spud!

by Janie Jones

This weekend we took off on account of Leif’s birthday (Happy Birthday Leif!!!) and illness to simply sleep in and be slugs.

Part of the weekend included playing Monopoly.  It’s one of a few board games everyone can participate in and enjoy.  The Spud hasn’t quite figured out the “point” or developed an understanding of money, so she mostly just enjoys landing on Chance and either being sent to jail or avoiding it depending on her mood.

At some point she became concerned that she didn’t have a Get Out of Jail Free card.  Leif however, had one and offered to sell it to her for $100 (if you don’t regularly play Monopoly, you can always pay to get out of jail for $50).  I laughed thinking it was a good joke, but the spud quickly agreed and handed over a hundred dollar bill.  Leif looked at me, I looked at him.  We both looked at the spud.

“Whaaat?”  She squealed.  “I need a Get Out of Jail Free card!”

So, I shrugged and the transaction was completed.

As it would happen, later on Leif and the spud found themselves in a similar situation.  He had a Get Out of Jail Free card, and she wanted one.  So again, he offered to sell it to her for $100 dollars.

This second time I said, “Spud, you realize don’t you, that you can always pay to get out of jail for $50.  Uncle Leif is charging you $100, that’s more than it costs to simply pay to get out of jail.”

“Mommmmaaaa!”  Squealed the Spud, “But I need a Get Out of Jail Free card.”

And I sat and watched her pay $100 again for something that in theory should have been worth less than $50 and was both shockingly amused and horrified.

July 20, 2015

Spudisms #19: The Chinese don’t have Tupperware

by Janie Jones

This weekend Leif made homemade stir fry.  He and the Spud chose to eat with chopsticks.  At some point in the meal the conversation came around to forks vs chopsticks.

Spud:  In China they don’t have forks because they don’t have Tupperware.

Me:  Did you just say in China they don’t have forks because they don’t have Tupperware?

Spud:  Uh-huh.  No Tupperware.

Me:  What makes you say they don’t have Tupperware?

Spud:  Because they don’t.

Me:  But, how do you know that?

Spud:  Mommmmmaaaa.

Me:  But what does having or not having Tupperware have to do with forks?

Spud:  *exasperatedly*  If you don’t have Tupperware, you don’t have any forks.

Me, struggling to follow 10 year old logic:  Um, do you know what Tupperware is?

Spud:  Yeah.  It’s like forks and knives and spoons.

Me, looking across the table to Leif who looks equally confounded:  Where did you get that idea?

Spud:  Tupperware.  That’s what it says on the white rectangle the forks and stuff are in.

Me, light bulb suddenly going on:  Oh, Sweetheart, that’s the name of the company that makes the container.  Tupperware makes plastic containers.  Forks, knives and spoons and those kind of things aren’t Tupperware, they are silverware.

Spud, looking confused:  Oh.  But they don’t have forks in China because they have chopsticks.

July 18, 2015

Spudisms #18: Evaporating

by Janie Jones

The other day the Spud and I were sitting together watching TV and chatting about something, I can’t remember what.  I need to start carrying a pocket recorder.  She says some interesting things.

Anyway, the conversation wound around to talking about being hot and tired and she says:  “My legs are evaporating.”

“I don’t think your legs are evaporating.  Evaporating is when liquid changes to a gas.”

“Oh, well, they felt like they were evaporating for just a minute there.”

 

June 21, 2015

The birds and the bees

by Janie Jones

The spud is officially a tween, or preteen, or what ever they are calling youth on the cusp of puberty these days.  We had to go shopping for feminine foundation undergarments.  I told the Spud yesterday we were going shopping for bras, and she burst out “Mooooooommmmmaaaaaa!  Don’t say  that!  It’s embarrassing!”

I would like to point out to the jury, there was no one else around.  We were in the privacy of the living room where I have my room in town.  I could not help but be amused by her reaction.

Me:  Embarrassing?  Why.

Spud:  Because it IS.

Me:  You think going shopping for a bra is embarrassing?

Spud:  Mommmaaa!  Please!

Me:  You, who rip farts in public and laugh.  You, who force belches out in busy restaurants, think a bra is embarrassing?

Spud:  Well, yeaaah.

Me:  Sorry.  We are going.  And, it’s perfectly natural, so I’m afraid you will have to get used to the idea.

However, I was a little concerned that she would suddenly become so mishish and prude-y that she would make the whole excursion a frustrating debacle and then refuse to wear her new, and much needed, undergarments.

We headed out first to Target and their girls underwear departments.  She was a little reluctant.  Never having shopped for little girl size bras, I had no idea how they were sized.  Some looked a little “mature” for little girls, so first we started with items that were basically sports bras.  I figured these you put on rather like an undershirt, no hooks or straps to adjust.  They had some pretty colors which apparently made her a little less reluctant.  She apparently liked a teal green one with a decorative band around the rib cage.  We talked about how we would try on a few styles find the kind that felt most comfy then she could pick out her favorite colors.  I did grab a few kinds with adjustable straps and hooks just to try.

In the dressing room we talked about the reason for bras and how to put them on.  We talked about how important it was that they didn’t wiggle, that they covered the important areas.  I told her to wave her arms around, jump up and down and touch her toes to make sure it wouldn’t slide around.  I think she enjoyed being told jump around as spasticly as possible.

Then we tried on one of the more mature styles with the hooks and adjustable straps.  These looked more like bras, and had just a little padding in the cup.  She tried one with a little pink bow.  She liked the bow.

So when we were done she asked, “When do I have to start wearing my new bras?”

“Well, you should wear them every day.  You can put one on as soon as we get home if you like.”

Purchases made, we met Leif who was waiting for us in the Starbucks at the Target store.  And apparently she was so excited she wanted to show Uncle Leif, who of course was quite scandalized.  “Janie, you need to discuss what is appropriate in terms of showing off her new underwear to boys and men.”  Well, I suppose I didn’t expect her to go from being embarrassed to an exhibitionist in one shopping trip.  But I am very glad she’s enjoying her new bras.  She even wanted to sleep in it.

Road to adulthood, Mile Marker I.  Check!

I also got to laugh at the JC Penneys we cruised through yesterday.  I noticed a young man of about the same age with his head and arms up the skirt of a mannequin.

The birds and the bees indeed.