Archive for ‘Spamalot’

October 12, 2012

In search of Truth in the Spam-can

by Janie Jones

Recently I posted this joke for Tuesday Titters:  Week 39.  What is Lassie’s favorite vegetable?  Collie-flower.

Little did I know that it was such a deep, thought provoking joke.   I’m sorryMolineaux70194 at truthisalive, whose comment, “Nice site but you should stand up and fight for the truth,” chastises me from the spam-can.  You are so right.  I should always fight for the truth.  So I’ll come clean.

I don’t know what Lassie’s favorite vegetable was.

There is no such vegetable, that I am aware of, that is called collie-flower.

As a joke it is weak at best and the play on words is horrible and lame.

And, while I’m dispensing truth like I’m not a politician, I’ll go so far as to admit this joke can be told in another way:  What kind of flower does Lassie like best?  Collie-flower.

But that’s not nearly as funny in my opinion.  Even I have a dumb joke threshold.  Which is another truth, albeit probably one that you all will find hardest to believe.

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January 17, 2012

Tuesday Titters: Week 3

by Janie Jones

As it is the first day of class at Stickittoyou University this morning and it is cold and dark I thought this joke would be appropriate.

Newton’s First Law of Motion translated by the average student:  a body at rest will stay at rest under a down comforter until forced to move.

I’ve been looking up science jokes in honor of changing my major, so while you all may have been feeling relief at my relinquishing holiday jokes for the new year you can now take comfort in knowing I’ll be torturing you with physics, chemistry and biology jokes.

I’ve been getting some flak about my lame jokes.  I feel that the lamer they are the funnier they are.  Hey, that’s just the way my lame sense of humor rolls.  But apparently I have fans.  From the spam queue last week:

Whoa, most of these jokes are hilarious! Continue to keep including more please. I really enjoy these. Very funny…

Well, thank you Joseph Krikorian at Tunstall575@yahoo.com.  Most of my fans think you’re just spam, but I believe you really appreciate my humor.  So just for you, this Tuesday we’ll have a two for one on lame jokes:

An anion walks into a bar after a tough day.  He sees an attractive anode sitting at the end of the bar and hopes his luck is about to change.  The bartender, a cation,  comes up to him.

Bartender:  Hey, tough day, huh?  You’re looking pretty negative.

Anion:  I’m hoping I’m about to charge my luck.  Say, is that anode here with anyone?

The bartender shakes his head:  She’s pretty attractive, but she’s not your type.

The anion asks:  Are you sure?

Bartender:  Hey, I’m positive.

Happy Tuesday.

August 21, 2011

Gesh, why didn’t I think of that before?

by Janie Jones

Date99 @ gmail.com in the ol’ spam queue asks:

Are you a loser?

Considering I lost 6 hours of my Sunday to blogging, I suppose the answer to that question would have to be yes.

August 11, 2011

Mrs Bunn: *screaming* I DON’T LIKE SPAM!!

by Janie Jones

Thanks bolde @ gmail:

Good review! This is exactly the type of blog post that should be shared around the internet.

Unlike Mrs. Bunn, I’m not nearly so picky. I’m not sure what I’m reviewing, but I’ll take the compliment.

Spam, spam, spam, spamity spam, wonderful spam!