Archive for ‘Now that’s just weird’

February 20, 2018

Random and Weird

by Janie Jones

My left shoulder has been exceptionally itchy for the last several days.  I’ve tried craning my neck and peering at my shoulder through the mirror, but I can’t notice so much as a pimple.

But.  It.  Is. Driving.  Me.  Insane.

I just might have to drive down to the local dollar store and buy one of those long handled back scratchers.  You know, the ones you make fun of thinking, “Who would spend their money on something so dumb.”

On account of the lack of a real back scratching device, last Sunday while building my china cabinets (which turned out pretty well for cheap, laminated build it yourself crap), I used the claw on the back of my hammer.  Which actually worked pretty well.  So, thinking back on that, I am now seriously contemplating going in search of my toolbox.

Anyway, it’s probably just the dry winter air making it so itchy.  I would prefer to hope that it is not something so mundane but instead, like they say about itchy palms, that I am due to come suddenly into a large sum of money.

I suppose if I won the lottery I could hire someone to come in just to scratch my shoulder for me.  Or apply lotion.

Crap.  Now I’ve got Silence of the Lambs on my mind.

Advertisements
October 12, 2015

Very strange thing to dream…

by Janie Jones

Last night I had a dream where I went to the veterinarian’s office to schedule an appointment for Rupert to get his rabies shot.  While I was there my Biochemistry professor gave me the shot instead.

Then I went to class and everyone was getting rabies shots.

Afterward, we all had these amazing cheeseburgers.  I kept eating burger after burger thinking I should stop because I was going to make myself sick, but I never felt full so I ate until my alarm went off.

 

 

August 17, 2015

It sounds like the opening line of a joke…

by Janie Jones

How many firemen does it take to catch a skunk?

Apparently three, plus a bystander.

I’m serious.  I drove up to the parking lot at work this morning and a firetruck was blocking the entrance to the lot.  At 6 am there is nary a car in the lot, so naturally I wondered what the heck the firetruck, lights flashing, could possibly be doing.

Upon pulling over I saw behind the truck.  And, then I smelled the skunk.  I don’t know why, but the firemen were attempting to catch the skunk in a small box with a long pole and a tarp.

I drove on to a different lot, as I didn’t want to wait or smell.  I can only imagine it might have been rabid or injured and posed a threat to morning commuters which would be soon arriving.  But still, it’s not a sight you see every day.

August 5, 2015

Strange coincidences

by Janie Jones

Yesterday the spud had summer camp at the zoo.  I was finished with work a little early so on my way to pick her up I ran a few errands.  On a lark I stopped at a resale store to see if they might have a dining table chair I could pick up on the ultra cheap.

Background notes:  A few months ago one of my old dining room chairs broke and Leif declared it essentially unfixable.  So all summer when the spud was in town we had just one chair for sitting at the dining room table.  I do have some other chairs in storage that I could utilize, but I really hate them.  I think they are ugly, uncomfortable and bulky.  Strangely enough, in the past, I have had really good luck finding unique antique chairs at garage sales, resale shops and even at the curb on garbage day for a fraction of the price (or free) for what they charge for some of the ugly chairs they sell these days.  Often all they need is a quick wash and a new fabric seat, which I can usually replace in no time at all.

But I digress.

As I’m walking up to the store, lo and behold, I run into a fellow tour guide.   Let’s call him Rick.

“Rick!  What in the world are you doing here?”  I laughingly ask.

“Hey, Janie.  I’m shopping for a chair.”  He says.

“No way.  I’m here looking for a chair, too.  I guess I’ll have to race you for the furniture department.”

We fall to looking at the selection of chairs and I find a two-piece set of chairs that will fit my needs and are well within the poor-college-student budget.  I leave Rick, still butt-testing a few different chairs, to pick up the spud.

Upon arriving at the zoo, I park and get out figuring I’d go inside and use the bathrooms and look at the gift shop while I waited the last few minutes.  As I’m closing the door to the car I look over at the car parked next to me and think, that person looks familiar.  She is getting out of her car.  When she turns to face me, it clicks.

It’s Tiffany.  Yet another tour guide I work with.

“Hi Janie!”

“Hi Tiffany!  This is too funny!  It’s apparently run into tour guides day.  I just saw Rick at the resale shop by the mall.  We were both shopping for chairs.”  I laughed.

“That is too funny.  I’m here to pick up my younger sister.  She’s at zoo camp.”

“And I’m here for my daughter.  She’s in the zoo camp, too.”

 

What are the chances I’d run into not one but two fellow tour guides on opposite sides of town.  I seldom run into anyone ever.  Now that, my friends, is really what I call a funny coincidence.

 

 

July 29, 2015

Umm…

by Janie Jones

I down loaded photos from my phone.  I have no idea what I was taking a photo of here:

phone photos 015

I *think* it might be a thorn.  Guess I need to start putting notes in my phone about what I’m taking photos of….

July 18, 2015

Spudisms #18: Evaporating

by Janie Jones

The other day the Spud and I were sitting together watching TV and chatting about something, I can’t remember what.  I need to start carrying a pocket recorder.  She says some interesting things.

Anyway, the conversation wound around to talking about being hot and tired and she says:  “My legs are evaporating.”

“I don’t think your legs are evaporating.  Evaporating is when liquid changes to a gas.”

“Oh, well, they felt like they were evaporating for just a minute there.”

 

July 3, 2015

Channeling my inner Poe

by Janie Jones

And so it did happen one warm summer night a few days back that the sound of crunching gravel woke me from my slumber. As I lay quietly within my bed I listened intently to discern the source of this sound, and my sleep dulled senses scrambled to place it in a context understandable so I could return to my dreams without concern.

But there it was again, like boots on gravel, though not quite. And where would there be gravel but across the driveway? And yet this sound was too close to the window and the more I listened the less it resembled the sound made by any human foot I’d heard a fore.

And in my weary brain thoughts of beasts and man with nefarious intent did spring, and, with the peace of slumber no longer possible, I did reach for my spectacles and torch to identify this intruder and settle the doubt within my breast. To the open window I crept, a thought of Poe and his raven demon on my mind:

Soon again I heard a tapping somewhat louder than before.
`Surely,’ said I, `surely that is something at my window lattice;
Let me see then, what thereat is, and this mystery explore –
Let my heart be still a moment and this mystery explore; –
‘Tis the wind and nothing more!’

But nothing appeared to my bleary wondering eyes, so the window I tightly shut and returned to my slumber.

When morning came and the light of day banished nightmares far away, I once again heard a rustling of gravel directly outside my window. Now fully awake and calm of mind, it was clear that sound was no foot of man or bear or raccoon. So to the window once again I moved and lifted up the curtain. Much to my surprise I found myself face to face with nothing nevermore frightening that this:

star nosed mole

Twas a star-nosed mole who had fallen into the window well, which apparently contained a healthy layer of gravel.  It was shifting a significant amount of gravel, but could not escape the metal walls of the window well.

So, I went out and caught the little critter and relocated him to the wilderness behind the garage, where there was a distinct lack of gavel filled window wells.  I have to say, holding one in your hands gives you a serious appreciation for these fascinating subterranean mammals.