Archive for ‘Light Bulb Jokes’

January 27, 2015

Tuesday Titters: I think there’s a conspiracy going on here

by Janie Jones

Q: How many Centauri does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Nowadays, just one; but back in the glorious days of the Republic, hundreds of servants would change thousands of light bulbs at your slightest whim!

-Londo Molari, Babylon 5

 

It’s Tuesday so of course there will be jokes.  But I am also getting a little peeved with technology so my jokes have a point.  Somewhat.   Okay, more like a theme.

First, my desk lamp melted and I had to suffer a lower watt bulb (still suffering).

Then, my printer was haunted.  So I channeled my inner Moss and Roy.

turn it off and on again

But that didn’t work.  For two hours last night I tried everything.  I changed ink cartridges.  I wasted a good portion of that new ink aligning printer heads, cleaning printer heads, running test reports, and taking out the cartridges and cleaning them per HP tech solutions website directions.  I read all sorts of troubleshooting tips on the web.  I downloaded driver and software updates.  And the damn thing still wasn’t printing properly.

In my angst I vowed to go out and by a new fricking printer tonight.  My mood was only improved by reading The Oatmeal.  I recommend, especially if your printer has ever pissed you off, that you read this, too.  It’s funny, it will make you laugh at yourself and the way your life is controlled by a stupid piece of crap technology that works fine when all you’re doing is printing a stupid email joke but as soon as you need something important for work or school it suddenly goes on the fritz.

oatmeal printers from hell

Click Here

Well, then this morning I woke up and one of the huge recessed light bulbs in the ceiling decided to begin its death wail.  Yes.  You read that correctly.  My light bulb was wailing in a strange high pitched sort of fashion.  Wondering if Moss and Roysian logic would work on all electrical devices, I flipped it off and on again.  And, then the light bulb officially went dead.  So now I’m sitting here under the dim glow of my lame 40 watt bulb of my desk lamp and it sucks even more than usual because the over head light above my desk is out too.

On the plus side, my printer seems to have recovered from whatever was haunting it.  It printed just fine when in one last moment of desperation to have my lab worksheet for class I halfheartedly tried to print again.  All I could do was shake my head and decide that this proved that there are mysteries in the great and powerful electrical world that I just don’t think I’ll ever understand even though, thanks to physics, I can tell you how printers work.  Somewhat.  Perhaps in another post, as now I must take my precious lab worksheets and get my ass to class.

As for my lighting issues, well, I guess I’ll also be off to the store after I’m done with all my classes for the day.  It feels like a cave in here and I tell you, dear reader, that will not do in Janie’s Place.

But first here’s a few bonus light bulb jokes:

Q: How many college girls does it take to change a light bulb?
A: That’s “women,” you unfunny jerk!

Q: How many Einsteins does it take to change a light bulb?
A: That depends on the speed of the change and the mass of the bulb. Or vice versa, of course. It just might be easier to leave the bulb and change the room. It’s all relative.

Q: How many environmentalists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: If the light bulb is out, that’s the way Nature intended it!

Q: How many graduate students does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Only one, but it may take him/her more than five years to do it.

* light bulb jokes from Extremely Smart Humor

 

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