Archive for ‘Grammar Jokes’

November 17, 2015

Tuesday Titters: Size is relative

by Janie Jones

Here’s some riddles for you, scroll down for the answers.


What is the longest word in the dictionary?


What word becomes shorter when you add two letters to it?


You draw a line. Without touching it, how do you make the line longer?


A horse is on a 24 foot chain and wants an apple that is 26 feet away. How does the horse get to the apple?


horse math


*Smiles, because there is a mile between each ‘s’.


***You draw a shorter line next to it, and it becomes the longer line.

****The chain is not attached to anything.

September 29, 2015

Tuesday Titters: Do fruit flies dream of bananas?

by Janie Jones

There is a saying which may or may not have first been coined by Groucho Marx and revisited yesterday by my genetics professor:

“Time flies like an arrow.  Fruit flies like a banana.”

It’s stupid.  It makes me laugh.  Then again, grades this semester imply I am stupid.  But lets not dwell on that.  Let’s have fun.

What is the difference between a fly and a bird?

A bird can fly but a fly can’t bird.

Why do fireflies wear sunglasses when they talk to their children?

Because their future’s so bright, they gotta wear shades.


What do you call a fly with no wings?

A walk.

What do you call a fly with no wings and no legs?

A roll.

Whew!  I must be a fly with no wings and no legs because I’m on a roll.


Well that was fun.  My how time flies.

time flies

Maybe a little too much fun…


August 18, 2015

Tuesday Titters: More than one “right” answer

by Janie Jones

In honor of back to school, here’s some school related jokes:

Teacher: Can anyone give me a sentence with a direct object?
Student: You are pretty.
Teacher: What’s the direct object?
Student: A good report card.

Teacher: If you had 13 apples, 12 grapes, 3 pineapples and 3 strawberries, what would you have?
Student: Fruit salad.

Teacher: What is the chemical formula for water?
Student: H-I-J-K-L-M-N-O.
Teacher: What are you talking about?
Student: Yesterday you said it was H to O.

Teacher: Where are the Great Plains located?
Student: At the great airports!

jokes found at
October 7, 2014

Tuesday Titters: they’re over there with their group

by Janie Jones

I have never been a grammar nazi, and I don’t ever try to convince anyone, much less myself, that I have flawless English. Generally I get the basics of grammar, whether or not I catch my mistakes when editing is another story.  And while some of the more obscure particulars often elude me (commas are my arch enemy), I would like to think that I have a somewhat better than average grasp.  When I do make mistakes in my written grammar I am embarrassed, and I must admit I am rather disdainful of the pathetic writing skills of many of the younger generation.  Yesterday I had a grammar test in my Advanced Writing class, so soon we will see just how much I know and don’t know.

Until then, here’s a joke for you all:


Q: What do you say when you are comforting a grammar nazi?

A: There, Their, They’re