Archive for ‘Grammar Jokes’

November 17, 2015

Tuesday Titters: Size is relative

by Janie Jones

Here’s some riddles for you, scroll down for the answers.

 

What is the longest word in the dictionary?

*

What word becomes shorter when you add two letters to it?

**

You draw a line. Without touching it, how do you make the line longer?

***

A horse is on a 24 foot chain and wants an apple that is 26 feet away. How does the horse get to the apple?

****

horse math

 

*Smiles, because there is a mile between each ‘s’.

**Short.

***You draw a shorter line next to it, and it becomes the longer line.

****The chain is not attached to anything.

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September 29, 2015

Tuesday Titters: Do fruit flies dream of bananas?

by Janie Jones

There is a saying which may or may not have first been coined by Groucho Marx and revisited yesterday by my genetics professor:

“Time flies like an arrow.  Fruit flies like a banana.”

It’s stupid.  It makes me laugh.  Then again, grades this semester imply I am stupid.  But lets not dwell on that.  Let’s have fun.

What is the difference between a fly and a bird?

A bird can fly but a fly can’t bird.

Why do fireflies wear sunglasses when they talk to their children?

Because their future’s so bright, they gotta wear shades.

*Groan*

What do you call a fly with no wings?

A walk.

What do you call a fly with no wings and no legs?

A roll.

Whew!  I must be a fly with no wings and no legs because I’m on a roll.

*Groan*

Well that was fun.  My how time flies.

time flies

Maybe a little too much fun…

 

August 18, 2015

Tuesday Titters: More than one “right” answer

by Janie Jones

In honor of back to school, here’s some school related jokes:

Teacher: Can anyone give me a sentence with a direct object?
Student: You are pretty.
Teacher: What’s the direct object?
Student: A good report card.

Teacher: If you had 13 apples, 12 grapes, 3 pineapples and 3 strawberries, what would you have?
Student: Fruit salad.

Teacher: What is the chemical formula for water?
Student: H-I-J-K-L-M-N-O.
Teacher: What are you talking about?
Student: Yesterday you said it was H to O.

Teacher: Where are the Great Plains located?
Student: At the great airports!

jokes found at http://boyslife.org/features/32016/back-to-school-jokes/
October 7, 2014

Tuesday Titters: they’re over there with their group

by Janie Jones

I have never been a grammar nazi, and I don’t ever try to convince anyone, much less myself, that I have flawless English. Generally I get the basics of grammar, whether or not I catch my mistakes when editing is another story.  And while some of the more obscure particulars often elude me (commas are my arch enemy), I would like to think that I have a somewhat better than average grasp.  When I do make mistakes in my written grammar I am embarrassed, and I must admit I am rather disdainful of the pathetic writing skills of many of the younger generation.  Yesterday I had a grammar test in my Advanced Writing class, so soon we will see just how much I know and don’t know.

Until then, here’s a joke for you all:

 

Q: What do you say when you are comforting a grammar nazi?

A: There, Their, They’re

source: http://jokes4us.com/miscellaneousjokes/schooljokes/grammarjokes.html