Archive for ‘Animal Jokes’

January 13, 2016

*Sigh*

by Janie Jones

Winter break is officially over.  Spring semester begins today.

I don’t wanna go.

I only just started to feel human again.

But, Leif sent me this:dogjoke

So at least now I have a smile on my face.

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December 1, 2015

Tuesday Titters: Another Great White North Winter

by Janie Jones

The weather reports predict big snow falls today, so we’re getting in the mood…

Where does a polar bear keep its money?
In a snow bank.

Why don’t mountains get cold in the winter?
Because they wear snow caps!

What do snowmen eat for breakfast?
Frosted Flakes.

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November 24, 2015

Tuesday Titters: Gobble Gooble Moo

by Janie Jones

 
It’s the day before Thanksgiving, and the butcher is just locking up when a man begins pounding on the front door.

“Please let me in,” says the man desperately. “I forgot to buy a turkey, and my wife will kill me if I don’t come home with one.”

“Okay,” says the butcher. “Let me see what I have left.” He goes into the freezer and discovers that there’s only one scrawny turkey left. He brings it out to show the man.

“That’s one is too skinny. What else you got?” says the man.  The butcher takes the bird back into the freezer and waits a few minutes and brings the same turkey back out to the man.

“Oh, no,” says the man, “That one doesn’t look any better. You better give me both of them!”

Joke found at Thanksgiving Turkey Jokes.  Read more at http://www.theholidayspot.com/thanksgiving/jokes/turkey.htm#jbCMqQv3d3CJt5s0.99
November 17, 2015

Tuesday Titters: Size is relative

by Janie Jones

Here’s some riddles for you, scroll down for the answers.

 

What is the longest word in the dictionary?

*

What word becomes shorter when you add two letters to it?

**

You draw a line. Without touching it, how do you make the line longer?

***

A horse is on a 24 foot chain and wants an apple that is 26 feet away. How does the horse get to the apple?

****

horse math

 

*Smiles, because there is a mile between each ‘s’.

**Short.

***You draw a shorter line next to it, and it becomes the longer line.

****The chain is not attached to anything.

November 3, 2015

Tuesday Titters: I promise this isn’t a physics joke….

by Janie Jones

Oh boy!  I found a great site full of riddles!  Tuesday titters will now bend your brain as well as be funny….

 

A house has 4 walls. All of the walls are facing south, and a bear is circling the house. What color is the bear?

The house is on the north pole, so the bear is white.

zombie bear

September 22, 2015

Tuesday Titters: Dog jokes meet science jokes

by Janie Jones

It’s always a good day for a dog joke.  And, this morning it was really hard to get motivated to face the day, so more than one was in order.

This site had a lot of funny dog stuff.  But I *had* to steal this one.  I mean, dogs and science.

dogs barium

And, then there’s the old reliable of jokes which provided:

How is a dog and a marine biologist alike?
One wags a tail and the other tags a whale.
There.  Now I feel better.  Doesn’t anything dog related make you feel better?
August 31, 2015

It’s not Tuesday but here’s a back to school joke:

by Janie Jones

What did the mother buffalo say to her son as he left for college?

“Bison!”