Archive for ‘Biology Jokes’

July 28, 2015

Tuesday Titters: Why you should *ALWAYS* put the toilet lid down, and guys I mean you too

by Janie Jones

flushing the toilet

July 21, 2015

Tuesday Titters: microbial diversity

by Janie Jones

What do you call a microbiologist that has traveled to every country in the world?

A man of many cultures.

July 14, 2015

Tuesday Titters: Microscopicly funny

by Janie Jones

Well, I was supposed to start my summer research on the bacteria that causes Lyme Disease, Borrelia burgdorferi yesterday.  But as it happens, that didn’t happen.  But here’s some bacterial humor for you anyway:

Two bacteria walk into a bar.

The bartender says, “Get out! We don’t serve any bacteria in this bar.

The two bacteria say, “Hey, but we work here. We’re staph.”


A scientist is denied entrance to a microbiology lab. When he asks why, he is told that it is for “Staph Only.”  

Found in the bowels of the internet….

May 12, 2015

Tuesday Titters: It’s time for final exams

by Janie Jones

I’m not expecting to do well, but I will be relived to have this semester over.  We can only hope for better next time around.  Hopefully one day I can look back on all this and laugh.

The not necessarily well-prepared student sat in his life science classroom staring at a question on the final exam paper. The question directed:
“Give four advantages of breast milk.”
What to write? He sighed, and began to scribble whatever came into his head, hoping for the best:

1. No need to boil.
2. Cats can’t steal it.
3. Available whenever necessary.

So far so good – maybe.

But the exam demanded a four-part answer. Again, what to write? Once more, he sighed. He frowned. He scowled,then sighed again. But suddenly, he brightened. He grabbed his pen,and triumphantly, he scribbled his definitive answer:

4. Available in attractive containers.

Happy Exams

Google image search jokes+about+final+exams

April 2, 2015

Thursday Quote Du Jour: Pucker up, Buttercup

by Janie Jones

Kiss me if I’m wrong, but dinosaurs still exist, right?

miscellaneous quote from Google

I’m a scientist.  Dinosaurs as such are extinct.  According to the geologic record they vanished about 65 million years ago.

What happened, then, to the dinosaurs?

I’m a scientist Jim, not a paleontologist.

But that kinda depends on how you classify dinosaur.  Some evidence suggests dinosaurs evolved into birds, so one could arguably say, “Dinosaurs still exist but in the form of birds.”

But then, you could also stretch that argument and say, I had Kentucky fried T-Rex last night or an Allosaurus omelet this morning.

funny-dinosaur-evolution to chicken dinner

And in which case, I see a flock of dinosaurs every time I visit Leif on the farm.

Reality check, if you can call a Gallup poll reality:

According to a 1993 Gallup poll, 3% of 18-29 year olds and 2% of responders who never went to college believe that dinosaurs still exist.  On the other hand, apparently 16% of 65+ year olds believe dinosaurs are a myth.

I have no idea what this post means.  It started with a funny quote and it will end with pet burial and aliens.

Dinosaur Cartoon buy pets


 *images from Google funny images of dinosaurs search



February 17, 2015

Tuesday titters: microscopic humor

by Janie Jones

Why did the bacteria cross the road?

To prove he wasn’t chicken?

Nah, he was just stuck to the chicken’s butt.


What do you call an amoeba that crosses the road, jumps in a mud puddle and crosses the road again?

A dirty double-crosser.

bacteria is staph

January 21, 2015

Back to school: day two

by Janie Jones

Yesterday turned out to be not so bad.  The physics lecture was interesting, no math yet, just introducing electrostatic charges, and I like physics just fine until I have to do the calculations.  My microbiology lab instructor seems as though she’ll be awesome.  I got out of the afternoon class I’m a teaching assistant for way early, so that was a big bonus.

And, in class and walking the halls I ran into a lot of people I met last semester which was nice.  It feels good to not feel like a total stranger as you move through your day.

Today I meet the rest of my teachers.  Hopefully today will go as smoothly.

And as yesterday’s Tuesday Titters was somewhat lame, here’s a microbiology cartoon stolen from Google images:

microbiologists cartoon