Archive for ‘And that’s no joke’

June 20, 2018

Thanks, but no thanks

by Janie Jones

So they had an employee appreciation day at Stickittoyou U recently.  All employees were given $25 gift cards to a big box department store.  Very nice.  Thanks!

Then week or so later I got my paycheck.  It was smaller.  Not a bank breaking amount, about the amount it would cost to buy lunch at the average sit down restaurant, but enough less that I was a little concerned about where that money went.

So I pulled up my check stub, and what, What, WHAT?  They taxed the gift card.  Because they added it to my “net salary” by the time taxes were applied I actually lost money.  They taxed, as income, a gift card.  Which was not like a prepaid Visa or something.  I can’t use the gift card to pay bills, but yet it is considered income I have to pay taxes on, and then when I use it the store will charge me taxes on what I buy.

Thanks, but if given the option, I’d have passed on a gift that would ultimately cost me more money than it was worth.

Employee appreciation my ass.  I suppose it was well meaning, but it’s kind of hard to feel grateful when I make less than industry standard, less than I made before I spent 50K on an education, and the “appreciation” gift requires me to give up money out of my already puny paycheck.

And, when I went to complain to the HR person, I found out that the new Dean, who made the decision to bestow these “gifts” was warned that they would cause the recipients to be taxed, but in her wisdom still seemed to think people would prefer to be awarded a gift that caused a deduction in pay.

Thanks new Dean.  I hope you made lots of devoted fans out of your employees.  I know I am just pleased as punch.  I will think of you oh so fondly and be oh so grateful for my job when I can’t afford to buy lunch this week.

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May 16, 2018

What alien snatched my brain?

by Janie Jones

So, a very weird thing happened a little while ago.

I was walking down a long empty hall with a slight ramp.  Suddenly, I had this giddy urge to run as hard as I could.

I NEVER have the urge to run.

An alien body snatcher must have stolen the real me.

April 18, 2018

I am not kidding

by Janie Jones

This was the view from my living room window just last Sunday, April 15th:

20180415_175948

Between Sunday and Monday we got about a foot of snow, give or take.  It was nearly knee deep where it had drifted.

Thankfully, I had bought a nifty new electric snowblower a month ago.  It worked like a champ.  Now if only I could get out of my alley….

As much havoc as the snow creates for driving, I do so love the Great White North and it’s quirky weather.  All that snow is almost gone.  Today it hit 39 degrees F, tomorrow it’s supposed to be 50.  It’s a heat wave!!!  All my fellow Great White Northerners will be breaking out the short pants and flip-flops, I guarantee.

 

March 5, 2018

Fortune Cookie Wisdom

by Janie Jones

I like fortune cookies, with or without the fortune.

For New Years Leif and I got together with some friends and had a stir-fry themed meal.  Leif makes some rockin’ Chinese, I tell you what.  He does it all: all manner of stir-fries, egg rolls, miso soup (which is technically Japanese I guess), egg-drop soup, hot and sour soup (which I don’t like, but I have on good authority from friends that he does quite well), even spring rolls.  One thing he doesn’t do is fortune cookies.  So I buy a box of them at the grocery store, ’cause you gotta have fortune cookies when you eat Chinese.

Anyway, I still had several in the cupboard, and as I like them just for eating regardless, I’ve been tossing the leftovers in my lunchbox from time to time.

Today’s fortune said:  Good news will come to you by mail.

And what do you think?  I received my acceptance letter to grad school today.

Hmm.  A fortune cookie fortune that could actually be considered accurate.

To bad it wasn’t:  You will receive a large and unexpected windfall of cash today.  I might have been accepted to grad school, but I have no idea how I will make this work.

 

 

January 5, 2016

I might regret this…

by Janie Jones

I made a very delicious meatloaf on the 26th of December. I thought the spud would help me eat the leftovers before she went back to her dad’s, but apparently, although this child was the one who requested I make the meatloaf in the first place and ate quite heartily of it at its first dinner table appearance, she was too good for meatloaf leftovers.

I ate on it myself several times last week, then went out to the farm for the weekend. Today I realized there was still one piece left in the fridge. It was 10 days old and past my standard rule of 7 days of eating on leftovers before they get pitched. But it was a very, very delicious meatloaf. So I decided to take my chances and eat it anyway.

If I die of food poisoning, now you will know why.

Beware the 10 day old meatloaf.

BEWARE!!

November 22, 2015

Eeeewwww!

by Janie Jones

There is a message board by the door at the house where I am renting.  This morning the following was scrawled upon the board:

Please clean up pubes after grooming.

Thank the merciful heavens I have my own bathroom.

November 18, 2015

What’s the matter with you?

by Janie Jones

Due today:  Biochemistry lab report on the inhibition kinetics of lactate dehydrogenase.

Due tomorrow:  Rough draft of paper on the epistatic gene inheritance of GloFish.

Due Friday:  Rough draft of the presentation on the immune evasion properties of sGP in Ebola virus.

Monday:  Genetics exam on gene transcription, translation, operons and gene regulation.

Due next Wednesday:  Term paper on ten weeks of study encompassing seven laboratory experiments on lactate dehydrogenase and my final Ebola sGP presentation.

didi at typewriter

 

Oh, yeah.  And a bunch of other “small” homework assignments are also due between now and then.  If you find me either asleep on my laptop, or electrocuted from the tears of frustration and exhaustion I cry while I type, you will now know why.