It’s all in the cards, except when it’s literally not

by Janie Jones

I like to play Free Cell.  I usually play through a couple games while I eat breakfast in the morning.  But almost all week I’ve been stuck on one shuffle.

Now, if you’re not familiar with Free Cell, it’s a type of Solitare game.  As far as I know, every shuffle is win-able, if you literally play the cards right (no pun intended).  I’m currently running a 100% win rate.  However, some are real stumpers.  As it happens, Leif and I have different styles or strategies when playing.  Usually if one of us is stumped, the other can sit down and work it out.  Funny how the old brain box works differently from person to person.

But I sat down this morning with my bowl of cereal and I literally figured it out straight away, and though it’s just a dumb game of Solitare, it was kinda exciting.  As I’ve been doing little this week except work, sleep and surf Hulu and Netflix, it’s all I’ve got to pass as news.

Wait, that’s not literally true.  We were having a discussion in the tour guide office yesterday about the abuse of the word literally.  I hope that most of us realize the true meaning of literally, as in something that is completely, exactly so and undeniably true or correct.  But our modern snark-a-holism has so thoroughly abused the word in a sarcastic sense that now not just one, but apparently three dictionaries have amended the definition to mean the exact opposite.  Don’t believe me?  Catch the scoop at CNN or here at The Week.

Sure I love to be snarky and sarcastic as much as the next guy, but when we indulge in hyperbole with the GenPop who are too dull to understand the sarcasm and words are redefined as a result, well, I just must hang my head in disgust.  You literally cannot engage in a battle of wit with an unarmed person.  You know, they can’t pick up their weapons if they are missing arms!

Any how, having nothing to do besides give a few tours each day has been boring but the most lovely and wonderful kind of boring.  I mean, when else would I literally have time to make lame jokes about the word literally.  It’s going to be really hard to get back in the school groove when the break ends.

2 Comments to “It’s all in the cards, except when it’s literally not”

  1. I love playing Hearts on the computer but it’s not on my current Microsoft thing 😦

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