So once again it’s back to school time. But this year I’m finally back at Stickittoyou U. I couldn’t afford to really move to Big City, but I found myself a small room in town. On the weekends, as long as I don’t have to work and the weather is fair, I’ll be out on the farm with Leif.
It’s been a year of big changes.
I’m still struggling with it all. And last week it was easy to feel like I wasn’t going to make it. Juggling two jobs (I’m cutting back on the tour guide gig so I can work in a biology lab), Physics, Cell Biology and Professional Writing for Science Majors, settling in to a new abode, and worrying about Leif, the dogs and how poor I am is a lot of balls in the air. I cried a lot last week.
I’m scared out of my wits. I’ve put in hours and hours preparing and slogging through maths and chemistry and I am tired. All that work doesn’t seem to have gotten me very far right now. I can’t remember enough to feel well prepared. I’m worried I won’t be able to hack Physics with all the math. I’m worried I’ll hit the wall of math in my Cell Bio Lab and choke to death on conversions and how to adjust formulas for stock solutions. I have two big papers to write, one of which is a research proposal. I actually have to come up with something to propose to study. How can they expect me to know enough yet to propose my own study?
Then the other students are all talking about MCATs and GREs and other grad school placement testing. No pressure there.
The more things change the more they stay the same. Same stress, same exhaustion, same fears, just different rubber walls.
But I can’t give up, so I guess I’ll just have to keep on stumbling along.
Even if you fall on your face, you’re still moving forward.
-Victor Kiam
Janie's Place 