Archive for September 29th, 2013

September 29, 2013

I am totally losing my mind

by Janie Jones

Sometimes I don’t think I’m joking.

I used to be sharp as a tack.  Now, that’s not so much true.  But evidence that I’m losing my mind manifests in little things.  Like just now for example.  I started water for tea.  I pre heated my mug with hot tap water and I decided to drink the nasty new Lipton Cinnamon Spiced Chai (not nearly as good as their original black tea spiced chai).  Most people might wonder, why would Janie drink tea she thinks is nasty?  Well, it wasn’t cheap, I can’t stand to be wasteful, and if you add enough sugar and milk it’s palatable for swilling while doing homework when you aren’t really at liberty to actually enjoy a good cup of tea anyway.  Anyway, indeed, I digress; I totally remembered opening the box and setting out a tea bag.

When the hot water was ready I dumped out the tap water that was preheating the mug and reached for the tea bag.

No tea bag on the counter.

WTF.  I know I got out that tea bag.  Didn’t I?  I remembered feeling irritated that Lipton switched to stupid triangular shaped plastic mesh bags instead of the biodegradable old paper ones.  I remembered feeling disgusted they changed the flavor mix.  But then, as I stood there in confusion and irritation I realized I couldn’t actually remember, did I really take out the bag?  Or did I just brain fart and put the box away without actually getting out the bag?

Surely not?

But it wasn’t on the counter.  It wasn’t on the rolling cart.  It wasn’t in the sink like I’d absently added it to the hot tap water and dumped it out when the boiling water was ready.  I even stopped and physically looked in both hands.  No, I wasn’t holding it already.  And, no I had no pockets so I hadn’t absentmindedly pocketed it.  For some reason losing this tea bag really bothered me.  But I had to come to the conclusion that I must have not actually taken the bag out of the box.  And to think I got out the box, opened it, looked at those idiotic triangular bags, not taken one out, and put the box away, well, that bothered me even more.

Then to my everlasting relief it turned up on the floor.

Perhaps I should clarify.  I’m not relieved it was on the floor per se, if you saw the condition of my kitchen floor just now you’d gag in disgust.  Just that if it was on the floor it was a relief because it meant I hadn’t imagined getting a tea bag out of the box.  How it ended up on the floor, and the fact that I still used it after being on that filthy floor, is a different matter of concern.