Now that is a kick in the pants

by Janie Jones

While the spud was vacationing in Kansas, I thoroughly cleaned her room and changed all the bedding and gave it a good wash.  In doing so I noticed the plastic mattress cover was torn and falling apart.  So, as the spud is now 8 and a half, and has never had a bed wetting accident since she was potty trained I figured there was no sense in buying a new one and wrestling it on her bed.

Fast forward two months.

Just moments ago she came barreling out of her bedroom and tore into the bathroom.  A few moments later I hear, “Momma.  Momma, I had an accident in my bed.”

I saw her looking completely miserable holding her wet pajama bottoms out for me to see.  “Well, accidents happen.  Wash yourself, change clothes then take off your sheets and blankets and bring them down stairs to the laundry room.  I have to do laundry today anyway.  I’ll help you put on new bedding in a little bit.”

“I’m sorry Momma.”  The sad, confused and embarrassed spud shuffled off to comply without any hint of argument.

“Hey, it’s okay.  Accidents happen.”

Then I hear from her bedroom, “Oh no!  Momma it got onto my mattress, too!”

At which point I suddenly remembered the plastic sheeting that was deemed unnecessary to replace.  Now, I’m pissed.  Not at the poor spud, but at myself.  I’m pissed about piss on a memory foam mattress.  What was I thinking?  Oh, yeah, I was too tired and broke to deal with replacing a shredded plastic mattress cover.

Universe’s perverse sense of humor-1

Janie Jones gambles and takes a short cut-0


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