Tuesday Titters: Canceled on Account of Plague

by Janie Jones

I had grand plans for a new batch of seasonal lame jokes (yes, I still have a few up my sleeve after last year, you lucky devils you) unfortunately my brain is so sleep deprived and my head so sore I can’t think straight.  And before you peanuts in the gallery start asking how you’d know the difference, let me just assure you there is indeed a difference.

I came down with my latest version of Black Death Friday.  It may have been brewing earlier for all I know.  However, this weekend it decided to take on the charming characteristics of abrasive expanding concrete inside all of my sinuses, and in addition to being in exquisite pain, as soon as I try to sleep, it becomes impossible to breathe.  Breathing being somewhat desirable, and one might even go so far as to say necessary, I tend to spend all night gasping for air.  My normal cold remedies of choice have been all tried to no avail.  And, I’m unfortunately fresh out of raw milk.

So, I am sorry to say, unless I have a truly miraculous recovery before the end of the day, there will be no Tuesday Titters this week.  I might not survive, but I imagine you all will.

 

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2 Comments to “Tuesday Titters: Canceled on Account of Plague”

  1. Pseudoephedrine is what you need. Drain those sinuses and prevent secondary bacterial infections.

    Don’t forget liquids.

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