Spudisms #14: She’s in the Army now

by Janie Jones

This is a true story passed on from the spud’s dad via her summer camp counselor. So, despite the appearance of hearsay, it is a 100% true tale.

Camp Counselor Kent:  At the beginning of camp one morning, I introduced the kids to an activity called “Two Truths and a Tale”. It’s an icebreaker activity in which you tell three things about yourself (two truths and one lie) and the audience guesses which one is “the tale”. I went first so the children would understand how to play. I put on my best poker face and calmly explained that (1) I have two dogs, (2) I am vegetarian, and (3) I was in the Army. Despite my best efforts, most of the kids guessed correctly that I’d never been in the Army (which strangely hurt my feelings). With the rules now clear, each child took their turn telling two truths and a tale. Some of the kids were terrible liars. Others fooled even me. A 7-year-old named “the spud” furiously waved her hand in the air and finally got her chance to play. Like children often do, she’d longed for her turn but hadn’t actually thought about what she would say when called upon. After taking a few seconds to compose herself, she began.

The spud: Um, I was born in a country very far away, but can’t remember the name of it.

Kent:  Okay Spud. What’s the second piece of information?

The spud:  Uhhhhhhhh, my uncle gave me a dog about four years ago.

Kent:  Alright, that was a good one. What’s next?

The Spud:  Ummmmm, let’s see. Uhhhh. Ummm.

Kent:  Take your time Spud.

The Spud:  Ummm. Uhhhhhh…

Struggling to find that perfect lie – the lie to end all lies – the spud turned a defeated gaze to the floor and said, “I was in the Army.”

While the tale is pretty funny in itself, and I’m sure the bit about being in the army was meant to be the “punchline,” had Kent actually known my spud, he might have realized that she almost managed to tell 2 truths and 1 tale.  I’m sure in Spudville, “I was born in a country very far away, but can’t remember the name of it,” meant that she was actually thinking of the city of Wichita, where she was truly born, and which is quite far from where she now lives in the Great White North.  Furthermore, the statement “my uncle gave me a dog about four years ago,” is mostly a victim of time warp and split property ownership: a year and a half ago, Uncle Leif and I brought the family dog, Rupert, home from the shelter.

I would have liked to have known if Kent actually believed her first two statements, because, although false, I sincerely expect she was trying to tell the truth, and knowing her like I do, that is even funnier.

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3 Comments to “Spudisms #14: She’s in the Army now”

  1. That is adorable! You will be glad you wrote a blog because you’ll forget all this one day and then you’ll come across it and go ‘aahh!’ all over again 🙂

  2. Which one did the audience guess at?

    • I don’t know. While they are just little kids I hope they wouldn’t have been daft enough to not automatically suspect she’d not been in the Army. But, it would have been nice if Kent had shared.

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