Archive for July 1st, 2012

July 1, 2012

True story. Like totally for reals.

by Janie Jones

I’m not dead.  I haven’t been radiated into non existence.  I should have just known better that to think just because I quit the garden center job that I’d have all kinds of free time.  Especially when I’ve started my T.A. work for summer.

The professor I’m working for, let’s call her Mrs. Lenny, said to me two weeks ago, “Janie, would you mind grading some papers for me?”  And like a schmuck I said, “Sure, no problem.  I’ll be happy to.”

Hmmm, hmmm.

Let’s just say, the Dumbing Down of American Youth is complete.

And, for the record, we wear clothes.  Cloths are various pieces of fabric.  Clothes might be made from cloths, but they still aren’t cloths.

And, if you have a bunch of clothes belonging to a bunch of people you have their clothes, not there cloths.  If you are describing the clothes, you might possibly have reason to say they’re clothes, but still not they’re cloths, unless you were describing a bunch of material.  See the difference?  I assure you, it is an important one if someone is grading your essay and can’t figure what they Sam Hill you are rattling on about kids being too materialistic because there always buying high fashion cloths.  I assure you I’ve never known a bunch of materialistic teens to haunt Jo-Ann Fabrics buying high end cloth.  I suppose if you are from a southern state, you might be familiar with the phrase, “You see dem dare cloths?  Dem’s overalls.”  And, though that may sound like what they’re saying, I also can assure you that if they have a high school education, Hell’s Bells even a grade school education, they shouldn’t write that way.  We, however, live in the Great White North, people. Get with the program.  Or don’t and fail.

Now, I know if I were judged on the literary prowess of this blog, I’d likely be flunked.  But I assure you, these kids make me look like, um, someone who totally rocks the English language.  I’d drop a name here but I can’t think of one.

Anyway, I am still here, slogging through essays when I’m not getting nuked.  I have pictures of the nuking.  I will share as soon as I’ve stopped the brain hemorrhage caused by reading horrifyingly stupid essays.