And I now dub you, Sir Rupert Poopsalot of the Crunchy Turd

by Janie Jones

Now I know this is pretty gross, but I’m sitting here sick, and unable to nap and yet unable to get up the energy to do much else, so I’m sharing this all with you.

Sunday I made a bone-in ham.  It was delicious.  Leif saved the au jus and the bone and yesterday used them to make Navy Bean Soup.  It rocks.  Totally.  In fact when I’m done with this post I just may avail myself of a bowl of left overs provided I can muster the energy to shuffle over to the kitchen.

Anyway, I digress.  After the soup was done he gave the bone to Rupert.  Rupert is extremely picky about his bones.  He will only eat fresh home cooked meat bones.  None of those plastic wrapped, store bought, basted beef bones for him.  Oh, no.  But when we do treat him to a home cooked meat bone he gobbles it up, no bones about it.  Then for the next 36 hours he has petrified poops.

The poor thing pooped not once this morning.  Not twice.  Not even three times.  Oh, no.  Poor guy grunted and strained and pushed out 5 crunchy doggie turds.  Now, it’s gross enough scooping up a stinky, hot, steamy dog poop as it is with only a thin piece of plastic baggie between one’s hand and said poop, but grabbing a pile that is hot and hard as rock is it’s own level of grossly disconcerting.

And, now that I’ve shared this with you, I must let out Sir Poopsalot yet again because the poor dear is scooting along the carpet.  Yuck.  As soon as I can breathe through my nose and the concrete drains out of my head I am soooo steam cleaning this carpet.


4 Comments to “And I now dub you, Sir Rupert Poopsalot of the Crunchy Turd”

  1. You seem to have been ill for a while; are you okay?

    Congrats on hitting 5000!

  2. Hey, wow! I did hit 5000! Yeah for me!!

    Thanks for your concern. I think all the times I managed not to get sick during the school year (thank my merciful stars!) is catching up with me. I’m really worn out, stressed out, and generally just down and out, so I’m sure my immune system is not able to operate at maximum level. That, plus I have a germ toting 7 year old who’s been sick for 2 and a half weeks and absolutely refuses even upon pain of death to blow her nose, wash her hands or observe any kind of personal space no-man’s-land and wants to give snotty, slobbery kisses at the rate of 10-12 per hour. However, I was better for a brief couple of days Monday and yesterday, only to feel like crap again today. I think I really need just a total vacation from my life for like two weeks. But, not gonna happen. I’ll be fine again soon. And, if not, I have my annual physical coming up next week.

  3. I went through an entire holiday season with a cold one year. I was caught by a cold front on the job without a coat, which meant a miserable afternoon. The next day, which was the Wednesday before Thanksgiving, I started the cold which I couldn’t shake until the middle of January.

    What was strange was how I finally rid myself of the affliction. I told a guard at a refinery what happened and they suggested raw mustard green leaves. I had nothing to lose, and was open to any suggestion. I only could eat one, which was probably the most pungent thing I’ve ever eaten. My head drained, is the only description for what happened after I ate the leaf. The next day was a marked improvement and the symptoms were gone within a week.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: