Archive for May 15th, 2012

May 15, 2012

Tuesday Titters: Week 20, It Ain’t Easy Being Green

by Janie Jones

A frog decides to do some remodeling around his lily pad, but after talking with a contractor, the expense is more than he will have on hand.  So he decided to go down to the bank for a home equity loan.

“Good morning, Sir.  I’m the loan officer, Patricia Whack.  I understand you want to apply for a loan.”

“That’s right Miss Whack.”  Said the frog.

“Very good!  I just need you to fill out an application and our loan committee will review it.  I should have your answer in just a few days.”

“Super!”  Said the frog, who quickly filled out the required paperwork.

As promised a few days later the loan officer called.  Unfortunately, she had bad news.

“I’m very sorry, Sir.”  She said, “Unfortunately, it seems like you have no credit history and there is insufficient equity in your lily pad for the bank to hold as collateral.”

“Oh no!”  Cried the frog.  “Isn’t there anything else to be done?”

“Well,”  Said the loan officer, “Occasionally we might give out a loan using some other valuable item as collateral like say, perhaps a vehicle,  other property, stocks, or especially valuable jewelry or antiques.”

The frog got excited, “I have just the thing!”  He cried.

“Okay.”  Said the loan officer,  “Bring it in and we’ll have the loan committee consider it.”

So the frog hurried back to the bank and plopped a heavy green and golden frog figurine on Patricia Whack’s desk.

“What is this?”  She asked.

The frog replied, “It’s my collateral.  It’s been in my family for generations and is priceless.”

“A priceless piece of junk.”  She blurted.

“Hey!”  Croaked the frog, “The guy from antiques roadshow said it was worth thousands of dollars.”

All the commotion attracted the attention of the bank president.

“What seems to be the problem here, Miss Whack?”  He asked.

“This frog wants to offer this thing,” Miss Whack waved vaguely at the figurine, “as collateral for a loan.  I have no idea even what it is!”

The president looked at the item and said, “It’s a knick-knack, Patty Whack, give the frog the loan.”  Then this old frog went hopping home.