Walnut Street ate my acorns

by Janie Jones

I meant to post this yesterday, but I was enjoying being a lazy slug.

Which means I slept until 11am, got up, made apple cranberry pie ala mode for breakfast and played Free Cell until a friend turned up unexpected on my door step.  After a pleasant visit I went back to my very important work: increasing my win percentage on Free Cell.  I’m not as good as some, but I’ve boosted my percentage to 83% wins.

Anyway, here’s my intended post content from yesterday:

Everyone should be thankful for acorns

Janie:  Before we eat our Thanksgiving dinner, lets all say two things we are thankful for, and only one of them can be food.

Spud:  I’m thankful for turkey and gravy and mashed potatoes.

Janie:  Okay, and what are you thankful for that’s not food.

Spud:  Acorns.

Acorns?  I have no idea where that came from.  Now if that’s what we called money, I’d be very thankful, as we all know acorns grow on trees.  I can see how it would be:

Wife:  The rent’s due, dear.  Please go out and pick some acorns.

Husband:  Sorry, love, no can do.  I picked the last of the acorns for this season last week to pay for Junior’s orthodontics.

Wife:  How can we be out of acorns already?

Husband:  Well, remember the First Squirrel Savings account we put our acorns in to get through the winter?  Well, apparently they had a lean year and the president ate all the acorns.

Wife:  What!  How could they do that?

Husband:  Well, apparently they’d already borrowed against Suet Security and now needed more.

Wife:  Isn’t anyone going to make him pay for that?

Husband:  Well, I imagine the govern-nut will bail him out so he won’t lose his bank or his tree-mansion house.  He’ll be able to make it through the winter fat and sassy as ever.

Wife:  Oh, that’s just great.  What are we going to do?

Husband:  Well, we could join the Occupy Walnut Street protests, after all there’s no reason we should have to actually work hard for our acorns and we all know that the 1% of squirrelly Walnut Street bastards are making it harder and harder for us small folks to sit back and simply watch acorns grow on trees while they horde 99% of the world’s nuts.

Okay on second thought, perhaps it wouldn’t be better if money was acorns and grew on trees.  Same old story different nuts.

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One Comment to “Walnut Street ate my acorns”

  1. Oh that is too cute!!! But ultimately each country would have their different currencies. The US and Canada would have their acorns, I’m sure in places like Northern Europe it could be pine nuts. In Australia that’s a tough one. There are macademian nuts, but they only grow in the central – north parts. I think baby lettuce shoots would be a better currency for Australia, because the possums (similar to your squirells) absolutely love baby lettuce shoots which can be grown anywhere in the country.
    Hope you had a lovely Thanksgiving! And the pie sounds nice!

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