Have you had Hallway Sex recently?

by Janie Jones

Ahhh. At last my living room is once again live-able. Not exactly perfectly clean mind you- a good dusting, vacuuming and a pass with a mop would not me amiss- but at least I no longer feel like crying for despair at the mountain of shite looming within. The dog is even happier, the piles no longer block his access to his favorite lounging place beside the air conditioner vent. And it only took me a week to get to this point. Only.

So yesterday afternoon just as the mess cleared enough to allow a scrap of carpet and a ray of sunlight to peek through, Leif comes into the living room and looks at me and then looks around the room and quips: Hey Woman. When are you going to get off your lazy ass and clean up this mess?

To which there was only one acceptable and expected reply: F*%k you and the horse you rode in on, Buddy.

Which reminded me of a funny anecdote:

There are three kinds of sex. House Sex, Bedroom Sex and Hallway Sex. House sex is what you have when you first fall in love and you are so hot for your partner you’ll have sex anywhere in the house at any moment. Bedroom sex is what you have when you’ve been married a year or two and you have small kids so you have to have sex only behind the locked door of your bedroom at night. Hallway sex is what you have after you’ve been married more years that you can count and you yell “F*%k you!” at each other when you pass in the hall.


5 Comments to “Have you had Hallway Sex recently?”

  1. this is hilarious and definitely worth sharing with everyone i know!!! thanks for visiting my blog!!! 😀

  2. Happy to oblige! Thanks for visiting Janie’s Place!

  3. As you age, hallway sex becomes much easier on the back. Come to think of it, I’ve never had a foot cramp while having hallway sex.

  4. There is also phone sex, where you yell “F*%k you!” at each other over the phone.

    Er, or so I’ve heard.

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