Look into my eye

by Janie Jones

and tell me I’m not crazy.

I have to go to the eye doctor tomorrow. I’m not sure what to hope he’ll say. On the one hand, it would be nice for him to say everything is back to normal and I won’t go blind. Yes. That would be very swell.

On the other hand, with out wanting to be a hypochondriac, I’d like someone respectable to say, “Ah, yes, you do have something legitimate wrong with you. You are not a hypochondriac. You are seeing things and you are not going crazy.” Is that too much to ask?

Unfortunately, ever since my left eye went wonky a year ago, all he’s been able to say is that something did happen, he doesn’t know what or why, it seems to have gotten a little better, but who knows what the future will bring. Hence I have to go back every 6 months or so.

Last spring my visit was fairly uneventful.

Eye doc: Any problems?

Janie: Nothing new.

Eye doc: Any improvements?

Janie: Perhaps a little.

Eye doc: No bleeding at this time, swelling is down from your initial visit, but still seems a bit swollen. Right eye looks fine. Well. I think we should just keep monitoring you until there’s a definite return to normal or we have a significant change (meaning they figure out what is wrong because something terrible happens). See you in 6 months then.

Unfortunately, this time I am feeling like there are new, or a return of old, problems. But then, am I just looking harder (no pun intended)? Arhg!

Can’t you just look into my eyes and tell me what’s going on!?!

Well, doesn’t work in personal relationships, why should it work in medical ones.

*Sigh*

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6 Comments to “Look into my eye”

  1. I know that feeling. Before my husband was diagnosed with CFS/ME we were scared it was something life-threatening, because of the dramatic change in him. It took almost two years for him to be diagnosed. We’d have been relieved to hear what it was, even if it was cancer or something – just to get a diagnosis; the not knowing is the worst because you can’t move on.

    Hope everything is okay for you.

  2. Thanks. I’m sure it’s probably nothing. I’ve come from extremely healthy stock. However, the fact that the majority of people presenting with my complaints are eventually diagnosed with MS does haunt me just a little. No matter how hard I try to forget it and go forth as normal, I can’t help but wonder from time to time if that unusual new twitch, the unrelenting fatigue or new ache/pain is a symptom I should be taking seriously. On the other hand, it could just be stress and the normal changes of aging.

    Buck up girl, I say. Besides, I’ve never been a “follow the trend kind of person” in the past, so perhaps that will work to my advantage here as well.

  3. Now’s the day for virtual hugs. Hope it all works out.

    Tin x

  4. Sometimes all that can be done are good thoughts and prayers. I can furnish both and have done so.

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