A real groaner….

by Janie Jones

A snail walked into a car dealership. Immediately a salesman came up to him and offered his assistance figuring a commission is a commission and if the snail had money that was all that mattered to him.

Salesman: Hello there, erm, Sir? Can I help you pick out a car?

Snail: Mr. Snail…. Oh…. Yes…. But… I… have some… special… requirements.

Salesman: Certainly, why don’t you tell me what you’re looking for.

Mr. Snail: Well *he said slowly* I want something small and sporty that goes very fast.

Salesman: Not a problem, Mr. Snail.

Mr. Snail: But it must have vinyl seats, not cloth, not leather. For obvious reasons.

The salesman and Mr. Snail looked down briefly at a puddle of goo on the show room floor.

Salesman: Um. Right. Also not a problem!

Mr. Snail: Good. Then I want a special paint job. I’m tired of people over looking me because they think I’m just a slow dumb snail. I want something sleek, sharp. Something eye-catching that will stand out. Something that sizzles. Money is no object, so I’ll want it done exactly to my specifications.

Salesman: We will see what we can do. What were you thinking?

Mr. Snail: I want a fire engine red car. Fire engines are fast, and they get noticed. That’s what I want. And, the car must have a bold letter “S” painted on each side the hood and the boot so people from all directions will know it is Mr. Snail when they see me drive down the street in my new car.

Salesman: O-kay. I think we can accommodate that. Is there any thing else, a vanity plate perhaps?

Mr. Snail: Oh…. Yes…. I think….

Salesman: The letter “S” maybe?

Mr. Snail: Oh, yesssssss.

So the salesman shook hand to pseudopod, some papers were slimed and some money changed over.

In a few weeks Mr. Snail returned to pick up his new car, and was very pleased with his purchase. The salesman had even made sure the new vanity plate was attached for his special customer. As Mr. Snail peeled out of the parking lot, tires squealing and accelerator pressed flat to the floor, in his compact but fast, custom-painted car the manager of the dealership looked out the window said to the salesman, “What’s the deal with the special paint job and the vanity plate?” The salesman, already planning on how to spend his commission said absently, “I don’t know, but you can’t help but notice that little “S” car go!”


4 Comments to “A real groaner….”

  1. lololol! It took me a moment but I love it!

    Can I please use it for my joke a day challenge? It will be next year and I will credit you.

  2. Got to admit, never saw that coming….

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