Pop Quiz #4- Just because….

by Janie Jones

If the Zombie Apocalypse was to happen today and you had just 15 minutes to evacuate, what would you do?

A. Jump in your Zombie Apocalypse Bug Out Vehicle that you have painstakingly stocked over the last 10 years with weapons, food, medical supplies and spare clothing and bedding and head for the wilderness.

B. Grab all your family photos.

C. Arm yourself with a cricket bat and your vinyl record collection.

D. Stand in the middle of your driveway like a retard watching the swarm pour down the street, and at the last second as they begin to overrun your lawn scream like a little girl for help.

***Interpret Your Score***

If you chose A, you are probably dysfunctional in society, but your special neurosis will outfit you for survival if you are practical enough not to take pity on those less prepared.

If you chose B, you’re too sentimental to survive. Seriously, we’re talking Zombie Apocalypse. Take something to make yourself useful, please, because otherwise your life will be too short to enjoy those precious baby albums.

If you chose C you’ve been watching too much Shaun of the Dead, but you might have what it takes to survive and win the girl. However, be sure you’ve split your time wisely between watching Shaun of the Dead and playing shooting video games. You don’t want to be out of practice when the time comes. Even if you don’t survive, what self respecting person wouldn’t want to die in their favorite pub. You are all right as humans go.

If you chose D, well, I really don’t think I need to explain how to interpret your score. However, if you are dumb enough to fall into this category you probably do need it spelled out for you. Zombie Apocalypse is bad. Your surprise and amazement will not hold them off no matter how strongly you believe yourself to be above the common trials of man. Get a pair and quit screaming like a little girl. No one wants to rescue you because you are too stupid to realize you are in danger. Darwin has selected you out.

Happy Thursday!

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