Sic Ramsay on ’em

by Janie Jones

Yesterday, being Valentine’s Day,  it was probably not the most brilliant of plans to go out to dinner.  Leif had not planned any dinner, I having been at school all day had not planned any dinner, and instead of calling home to see if Leif wanted me to pick up any dinner, I was banking on the fact that it being Valentine’s Day he might be offended if I intimated that he wasn’t going to make dinner…well, you get the point.  We neither of us planned anything very well when it came to food last night.  We lamely suggested just “scrounging” and feeding ourselves whatever we could find, but then as we neither of us seemed to eager for that Leif suggested dinner at the local pizza and Italian place.

We knew it would be busy.  Knew it.  However, we also expected the wait staff to seem to care.  We stood in line for a seat for twenty minutes in which time there was at least 5 empty tables and a few that were empty and needed to be bussed.  The hostess and the waitresses seemed to be in slow motion.  Seriously, that’s not a joke.  We were finally seated and after us, two tables were also seated and had their orders taken before a waitress came to our table.  When she finally showed up she apologized for the wait but then said, “I can only go as fast as I can go.”  Which apparently meant she refused to do anything resembling a hustle.  It took almost an hour to get our pizza, it was busy in the kitchen and pizza takes time to cook from scratch I’m sure, but the waitress never came to our table in that hour to refill our drinks, we never got silverware, and when we asked they brought us plastic forks because all the silverware was in use or in the dishwasher.  When we were done we asked for our check and it took what seemed like any eternity for her to show up with it, but she also appeared with a piece of complimentary Valentine’s Day cake.  Served with a “fresh” strawberry.  Fresh only in the sense that it was plucked from the plant about two weeks ago and had not been processed at all, but at any minute was about to burst into a fuzzy green food object.  The cake itself was white with grainy “butter cream” frosting and Valentine’s Day sprinkles.  I actually had just been saying a piece of cake would be nice for dessert, and so I was all like, wow, that’s actually pretty cool.  But then I took a bite, and I have no idea how someone can make such a disgusting piece of cake, even on accident.  It was bitter.  How do you get a bitter white cake?!?

Honestly I’ve never felt that a place could care less about their customers on such a busy night.  Gordon Ramsay, I’m sure, would be appalled, spewing forth four letter obscenities with wild abandon.

Which begs the question, why did we stay?  Well, it is damn good pizza, and sadly there aren’t any places in town that are consistently better.  Sad.  Very sad.

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2 Comments to “Sic Ramsay on ’em”

  1. I love me some Gordon Ramsay. Uggh I HATE when I have to wait for a table, but when I do I will stand there and stare at the hostess and make weird faces until she seats me just to get rid of me. Try it sometime.

  2. Good plan. Thanks for the tip.

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