It’s all coming back to me now.

by Janie Jones

And not in a Celine Dion romantic interlude sort of way.

I am quickly remembering why I loathed school in the first place.

I have just completed my first week and I feel like I’ve been hit by a left-winger driving a hybrid 18-wheeler. The campus has the heat set on 88 degrees, outside it is minus 38 and I have a 10 minute walk from the parking lot to the building. I start out freezing my ass off, so I walk fast and by the time I get to the building I’m sweating. So, I peel off the down parka, the fur lined boots, the scarves, the mittens and the sweater underneath. And then spend the rest of the day continuing to swelter in my classes, hauling my laptop, my books, and all my supplies from one floor to the next dodging oblivious teens and twenty-somethings until every muscle in my body it twitching from over exertion (being old and out of shape sucks) and my clothes are damp from perspiration. Then after they abuse my intelligence and dignity I take my sweaty self back out in to the minus 30 weather and enjoy the sensation of my wet clothes freezing to my body.

The university says that for each credit hour you take in addition to the in class time you should expect to do 2 hours of homework. I have 16 hours of class, so I have the joy of anticipating 32 hours of homework. I also spend 9 hours a week commuting, and have a 30 hour internship to squeeze in. Add that to the joyous duties of momma hood and homemaker-y, sleeping and bathing and I don’t think there are enough hours in the day.

Yesterday, driving home in the blowing snow and sliding about even in 4wd, I was thinking, why am I torturing myself?!? Then I remembered, “Oh, yeah. Because I’m sick and tired of only being offered jobs paying $10 and hour.”

So, despite the fact that my entire left leg was numb from the hip down, my right shin felt like it was hit with a baseball bat, the top of my right foot was cramping (did you know it could do that?!?), my arms were trembling and my neck and shoulders felt like they were being held in a vice, I smiled through gritted teeth and said, “Perhaps I should pick up a double major.”

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