Princess Merrie Peeinherpants

by Janie Jones

I had to take the spud shopping for an in-between season jacket and some hiking boots last Wednesday. I picked her up from school and we came home before heading out on our excursion.

Uncle Leif tagged along.

Before we went to the store, however, had to run to the bank and then to the day care center to pay the spud’s bill.

Janie: Merrie, let’s use the potty before we go.

Spud: I don’t have to go.

Janie: Are you sure? Why don’t you try.

Spud: I don’t have to go.

Janie: Okay if you’re sure.

Any guess where this is going?

We run through the bank and the spud comes into the day care building to say hello while I pay the bill. No mention of needing a potty.

We skip on down to the Farm Surplus store to look for boots. Normally when we visit Farm Surplus the spud likes to play with the plastic animal display while Uncle Leif and I look at boring grown up stuff. Normally the arrangement suits every one. Shopping gets done and there is no nagging or petulance. Today however, I need the spud to try on boots. We wander up and down the boot aisle. No mention is made of needing to use the potty.

When boot shopping is complete, Uncle Leif says he wants to look in the tool department and automotive. The spud is released to go and look at the plastic animal display. Still no mention of needing a potty is made.

5 minutes later, in automotive, while contemplating the merits of various trailer lighting systems, we hear an announcement on the store intercom.

Attention Farm Surplus shoppers. Is there a Leif in the store? Please come to the front check outs, your niece is looking for you.

Leif and I look at each other as if each is unsure we heard what we think we heard.

Janie: Leif, apparently your niece is looking for you.

Leif: That’s odd.

Janie: That’s what I thought.

We wander towards the front of the store and at length see the spud near the plastic animal display with a sales girl and a man and a boy. She is rubbing her knees together and crying.

Being extremely atypical spud behavior we just kind of look from one person to the next in wonder.

Sales girl: Are you Uncle Leif?

Leif: Yeah.

Sales girl: Your niece had an accident.

I’m expecting to hear she fell, broke something, was naughty, etc.

Janie: An accident….

Spud: I couldn’t find the potty.

My eyes move down to the ground and suddenly I understand the knee rubbing behavior.

Janie: Wow! Um. That’s a lot of pee. Any one have a paper towel?

Sales girl: I called for a clean up already.

Janie: Why didn’t you come and get me?

Spud: I didn’t know where you were. I was just running around and around in a circle looking for the potty but I couldn’t see it. And this little boy’s daddy asked me if I was lost but I just had to pee.

Janie: Oh. I see. Well, I guess we better go home.

Spud: No! I can’t get pee on my nice new car seat!

The child wets herself in the store and is worried about getting her car seat dirty.


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