Weakness, thy name is ‘Quikee Mart’

by Janie Jones

Once again I am on the road for work.

I have been trying to be a good girl and not eat all that greasy restaurant food, and to avoid the vending machines and stuff. Seriously, one does get tired of it. But one also gets tired of having to try and find small portioned, healthful food options that actually taste good and are worth the outrageous bill and tip.

Any way, I’ve been going to a local ‘Quikee Mart’ to buy chocolate milk and orange juice for breakfast the next morning because the stuff labeled milk and orange juice on the free continental breakfast at the hotel may masquerade as milk and juice but my taste buds, which have been around the block once or twice, flatly deny any resemblance.

But I digress. The ‘Q.M.’ sells pizza and subs too. I’ve had the pizza twice before and thought it was pretty good. They keep some on hand in one of those heated trays for cash and carry. Tonight when I went into the ‘Q.M.’ for my beverages, the smell of pizza dissolved any pretense of will power. Alas, there was none already prepared. So, me thinks, I’ll order a fresh one with my favorite toppings, fresh must be yummier than old pizza that’s been sitting under a warmer for the last 3 hours, right?

Wrong.

I wish I had a camera phone so I could show you the disaster they call a Sausage, Onion and Green Pepper pizza. It was so miserable I just ate the crust. I can’t say I enjoyed that so much either, but I couldn’t bring myself to throw it away untouched. I really had craved pizza. Plus not eating it was like a waste of $5.

But that’s not all. While I was waiting for them to make my nasty fresh pizza all the other junk food began to call my name. Twenty some dollars later I walked out of the ‘Q.M’ with the following:

2 pints of chocolate milk
1 pint of O.J.
1 microwaveable breakfast sandwich (all the better to avoid the continental breakfast entirely)
Strawberry frosted Pop-tarts
2 chocolate frosted donuts (just in case I have a raging sweet tooth come morning, or if the breakfast sandwich is as bad as the pizza)
Raspberry-coconut Zinger knockoffs
Garlic roasted rye crisps (gotta have something salty to balance all the sweets, you know)
a Pepsi fountain drink
and, naturally, my disgusting SOG pizza

I drew the line at a Fudgesicle. I don’t know why my will power chose that moment to reassert itself, because right now I’m looking at the pile of junk food, as my stomach is cooking up a right royal case of pizza induced indigestion, and thinking a Fudgesicle sounds way better than anything else I did buy.

And, by the bye, I have no idea why, or when, I thought I’d actually eat all this stuff. Right now I’m looking at it and thinking it looks way less appetizing than it looked while I was in the store. But that’s not all. I had brought a TV dinner and biscuits from home, so I could pretty much eat on what’s in my hotel room for about three days and not run out of food. I’m only going to be here for one more day.

What was my major malfunction?!?

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One Comment to “Weakness, thy name is ‘Quikee Mart’”

  1. OOooo you went shoppin’ hungry.

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