It’s the day before Thanksgiving, and the butcher is just locking up when a man begins pounding on the front door.
“Please let me in,” says the man desperately. “I forgot to buy a turkey, and my wife will kill me if I don’t come home with one.”
“Okay,” says the butcher. “Let me see what I have left.” He goes into the freezer and discovers that there’s only one scrawny turkey left. He brings it out to show the man.
“That’s one is too skinny. What else you got?” says the man. The butcher takes the bird back into the freezer and waits a few minutes and brings the same turkey back out to the man.
“Oh, no,” says the man, “That one doesn’t look any better. You better give me both of them!”
Joke found at Thanksgiving Turkey Jokes. Read more at http://www.theholidayspot.com/thanksgiving/jokes/turkey.htm#jbCMqQv3d3CJt5s0.99
There is a message board by the door at the house where I am renting. This morning the following was scrawled upon the board:
Please clean up pubes after grooming.
Thank the merciful heavens I have my own bathroom.
I have spent a vast number of hours lately chasing down members of the Janie Jones, Graduate School or Bust, Fan Club. This highly stressful begging for letters of recommendation so that Grad School will deem me worthy of another 4-6 years of torture culminating in the honorable degree of PhD, yielded as many as eight people willing to perform this august task.
I figured once I had eight confirmed yes-es, I didn’t have to approach the remaining 3 or 4 people on my list of potential fan club members. I felt quite satisfied that I would be well represented. I collected their permission to submit their contact info. I collated all their contact information. I prepared instructions for them on how to access the online submission site. I sent them the downloadable pdf file for their convenience. I sent the troubleshooting list in the event that technology was not on our side. I prepared a brief statement of my intent for them so they would know what I was planning to do my graduate studies on/about.
And then I accessed my online application account and started inputting all the relevant info so my fans could comply with my request. Lo and behold. Even though the graduate school application directions say that three recommendations are required, it specifically says there is no maximum. So imagine my surprise when upon merrily clicking to add my fifth fan club member, the system would not allow any additional people to be added. WTF?
The recommendation provider queue was apparently full. Why would the instructions tell people there is no maximum when there is clearly an upload limit??? Had I known I’d only be allowed four fans in my club, I’d have planned that quite differently, as, it just so happens, the four fans who I hadn’t added first are people who I have actually done research work with at Stickittoyou U or hold massive sway on campus. Dr. Smythe in the Lyme lab. The Dr who is head of the seed lab where I work. My prof who I was an undergraduate TA for last year in the cell biology lab. And, my prof this year in the genetics lab who is the assistant director of the graduate study program. MY BEST, MOST TOTALLY RELEVANT PEEPS CANNOT BE ADDED because I apparently only get four even though the directions say there is no maximum!!!
The remainder of this post is edited for foul language to the point there’s no point in going further.
Due today: Biochemistry lab report on the inhibition kinetics of lactate dehydrogenase.
Due tomorrow: Rough draft of paper on the epistatic gene inheritance of GloFish.
Due Friday: Rough draft of the presentation on the immune evasion properties of sGP in Ebola virus.
Monday: Genetics exam on gene transcription, translation, operons and gene regulation.
Due next Wednesday: Term paper on ten weeks of study encompassing seven laboratory experiments on lactate dehydrogenase and my final Ebola sGP presentation.
Oh, yeah. And a bunch of other “small” homework assignments are also due between now and then. If you find me either asleep on my laptop, or electrocuted from the tears of frustration and exhaustion I cry while I type, you will now know why.
Here’s some riddles for you, scroll down for the answers.
What is the longest word in the dictionary?
What word becomes shorter when you add two letters to it?
You draw a line. Without touching it, how do you make the line longer?
A horse is on a 24 foot chain and wants an apple that is 26 feet away. How does the horse get to the apple?
*Smiles, because there is a mile between each ‘s’.
***You draw a shorter line next to it, and it becomes the longer line.
****The chain is not attached to anything.
Sometimes the littlest things in life are the hardest to take. You can sit on a mountain more comfortably than on a tack.