Einstein would have loved my daughter

The spud is the embodiment of the whole time is relative gig.  Except in reverse.  According to the time is relative thing, the person moving fast experiences a slower passage of time.  With Merrie, it’s the person not moving that experiences a slower relative time.  I’m running around like a crazy person and aging at tremendous speed while it’s like no time at all has passed in Spudville.  I hear Scotty’s voice echoing through my head, “You canna change the laws of physics!”  But apparently where the spud is involved normal Einsteinian laws of relativity get rather wonky.

She is the only person I know who can go into the bathroom to brush her teeth, stand toothbrush in one hand and tube of toothpaste in the other hand, and after 5 minutes still not have put toothpaste on the brush much less actually brushed her teeth.

And, then I’m all like, “Come on, it’s time to go!”

To which only the spud can answer, “Wait!  I’m not ready.  I need to brush my teeth.”

Then I’m all like, in a slightly hysterial and strangled tone, “What!?!?  You’ve been in there over 5 minutes.  What have you been doing?”

“Uh, idunno.”

With her, it’s not so much that you need to be afraid that silence means mischief is afoot, but silence means absolutely nothing is afoot.  She’s like 49 inches and 55 pounds of black hole, where brain matter is so dense it’s like time stands still.

I think I now need some very stout tea with a Swedish Fish chaser.