Tuesday Titters: Week 21, it’s beer-thirty

Once upon a time there were two turtles who were best friends.  Ray and Bud were very competitive and one day while sunning on a log they began to argue about who was smarter.  All the other critters grew tired of their bickering.  Bart, a huge old bullfrog, suggested they have a battle of wits to determine the smartest turtle between them.  They loved the idea, but needed a judge to determine the winner, so they prevailed upon Bart.  Bart consented, if they would accept his judgement and promise to stop arguing.  When they agreed he set them to several intellectual challenges, each more difficult than the last.  All the critters watched as the competition between the friends got fiercer and fiercer.  Finally, Bart announced the challenge was over and he had determined the winner.

“Well, who’s the smartest turtle in our swamp?”  The other critters asked excitedly.

“Yes, tell us!”  Cried Ray and Bud.

“It was a very close call.”  Said Bart.

“Well, who’s wiser?”  They demanded.

Bart cleared his throat and croaked, “Bud’s wiser!”

Five minutes does not an eternity make

Thankfully when giving a speech in a foreign language that no one else in the room really speaks any better than you, save the professor, no one really notices the small things that go wrong.

Unfortunately, the big things, like your videos not playing because the school computers don’t have as current software as your home computer, well, that tends to be a bit more noticeable.  However, I was prepared for that eventuality with back ups of my videos that could be played with other media software so it wasn’t a complete loss.

Just two more days of Spanish and a final.  Just two more days.

Hello, anybody home?!?

19 credit hours has officially stolen my life.

Hopefully I’ll get it back someday soon.

Til then, I’ll be,

Janie Jones drowning in homework

Tuesday Titters: Week 8; Don’t break your funny bone

I can’t take credit for making this joke up or even just remembering it from way back.  I saw it on a sign driving home from school recently and I thought it was so lame it was hysterical and giggled all the way home (about 70 miles).  But, you all already know my funny bone rolls in that way.

Have you heard the one about the clown who went to the doctor?  Apparently he was feeling funny.

Happy Tuesday!

SOPA/PIPA Compliance

I am going to beat this dead horse until it’s cat food quality pate.

I imagine it’s a dead horse, because the day I posted “SOPA sucks”  My stats took a huge dive.  Only three of you were brave enough to check me out.  I don’t blame you, my temper tantrums are ugly and saying I disagree with THE MAN probably gets me the wrong kind of attention from You-Know-Who.  But despite the chripy quality of Wednesday’s blog I’m tenaciously going to post about SOPA and PIPA again.

I needed to clean out my media files anyway, so in a moment of pique, I started tossing any photo I didn’t take myself, recklessly regardless of broken links in past posts and accidentally getting carried away and deleting a few things I didn’t have to.  Then, however, I got to my CowaBunger award and I went weak.  I can’t delete my beautiful corn cow.  But, I decided I could only partially plagiarize by reproducing the award using my impressive Photoshop* skills.  Hey, I paid in excess of $1500 to be taught how to use it, I might as well get some return on my investment.

So:  voila!

Without further ado I present the all new and improved Janie Jones and her partially SOPA compliant blog.

Or for those of you who already noticed my new header, the More Boring than Ever Janie’s Place in the Great White North where I will spend the next month being a general poopy butt about this whole SOPA thing.

*This should not be perceived as any kind of endorsement for Photoshop.  And, in case you were born in a vacuum, I was speaking tongue in cheek about my skills….

Tuesday Titters: Week 3

As it is the first day of class at Stickittoyou University this morning and it is cold and dark I thought this joke would be appropriate.

Newton’s First Law of Motion translated by the average student:  a body at rest will stay at rest under a down comforter until forced to move.

I’ve been looking up science jokes in honor of changing my major, so while you all may have been feeling relief at my relinquishing holiday jokes for the new year you can now take comfort in knowing I’ll be torturing you with physics, chemistry and biology jokes.

I’ve been getting some flak about my lame jokes.  I feel that the lamer they are the funnier they are.  Hey, that’s just the way my lame sense of humor rolls.  But apparently I have fans.  From the spam queue last week:

Whoa, most of these jokes are hilarious! Continue to keep including more please. I really enjoy these. Very funny…

Well, thank you Joseph Krikorian at Tunstall575@yahoo.com.  Most of my fans think you’re just spam, but I believe you really appreciate my humor.  So just for you, this Tuesday we’ll have a two for one on lame jokes:

An anion walks into a bar after a tough day.  He sees an attractive anode sitting at the end of the bar and hopes his luck is about to change.  The bartender, a cation,  comes up to him.

Bartender:  Hey, tough day, huh?  You’re looking pretty negative.

Anion:  I’m hoping I’m about to charge my luck.  Say, is that anode here with anyone?

The bartender shakes his head:  She’s pretty attractive, but she’s not your type.

The anion asks:  Are you sure?

Bartender:  Hey, I’m positive.

Happy Tuesday.