Curling up with a box of Kleenex and a good book on a rainy day, just what the doctor ordered

The weather up here in the Great White North has been really rainy the last several days and when combined with my cold (which is again on the mend, thanks to all for your concern and well wishes… I’m almost back to my normal self) has made for an excellent excuse to do little besides read.  So, I’ve finished A Discovery of Witches.

I liked it.  It had an interesting mixture of science and fantasy, a fun twist on monster characters (or as the author calls them, creatures) and though it is just the first in a series it didn’t have a super huge cliff hanger.  Although, I am left wanting more, as any good series should do.  The character development is pretty good, and for the most part the characters are pretty interesting and nearly believable, considering it is fantasy.  I think it does pretty well having something for all reading tastes; some romance (tastefully done romance by in large, although once you really get into the book the plot seems to focus heavily on the romance of the main characters and at times somewhat bogs down the action, but the romance is key to the plot, so in general it works), some action, some mystery, and a bit of quirkiness.

Overall, a pretty enjoyable read, and luckily, the sequel is due out later this summer.  Until then, I have to decide what to read next.  I have several books on my bookshelf in varying degrees of literary significance.  I tried to sit down and read a couple different titles last night, but nothing was blowing my skirt up, so to speak.  I think, as much as I enjoy a good read, I really need to jump start my enthusiasm again.  This yucky weather and my cold have really done a number on my summer fever.

It’s getting harder to find the silver lining in a head cold

So last week I spent all my time off from work nursing a horrible head cold.  I tried to make the best of it by enjoying some reading.  And, by Sunday I was feeling almost as good as new.

Last night however, I woke up in the small hours with another bad sore throat and a head full of congestion.  Just in time for my day off.

I’m beginning to think I’m never going to get a chance to enjoy myself this summer.  I remind myself that it’s not even June yet, but with all that’s been going on this month, good and bad, May just feels like a very, very long month.

So, hopefully I’ll be feeling better again soon, and stay better and then I can begin to have a life again.  For now, please excuse me, I have to blow and alien out of my nose.

Being sick does have some advantages

So, while I’ve been sick as a dog the last few days I’ve had no guilt at all about sitting on the sofa doing nothing but reading, nursing tea and blowing my nose through a whole box of Kleenex.

I’ve managed to finish Lady Chatterley’s Lover by D. H. Lawrence.  It’s one of those classics that occasionally gets mentioned as having been highly controversial, and well, I always have had a curiosity to find out why.  Plus, I simply like being well read, and have not managed to be able to read enough of the classics to be able to really call myself that yet.

At first I found it rather dull reading.  I can see why it would have been controversial then, but now you see racier stuff all the time.  And, I guess the whole class issue deal would have been pretty shocking.  I was fully prepared to plod through it for nothing but the few “racy” sex scenes, considering it some kind of bodice-ripping Harlequin romance of it’s day.  However, initially there was little romance to enjoy as the sex scenes were mostly peppered with grief, sadness, depression and regret.  But somewhere near the last half it got much better, and I have to say the ending pleased me quite well.  It was a very curious, but refreshing, look into the human heart, one I had not expected to end so well, respectably or so cleanly considering the social mess in which the characters lived.  I suppose I’d say it started with confusion, fear and despair and ended with hope.  I won’t say anything more as to not spoil it for any who aren’t familiar with the book and may have the urge to read it.

In the end I was very glad I read it.  It surprised me much.

Next on the reading list is a little lighter and fluffier fare:  A Discovery of Witches by Deborah Harkness.  I bought it some time ago, I think at Christmas, but never had time to read it.  Leif read it and said it was okay, and usually he and I have similar tastes in books, so I think I’ll enjoy it.  It, however, appears to be the first of a trilogy, so I hope it doesn’t have too much of a cliff hanger.  I’m nearly halfway through already and it seems rather far yet from a conclusion.  So, we’ll see….

I have great hopes of getting the opportunity to do much pleasure reading this summer, sick or healthy.  But what to choose next?  So much literature, so little time.

 

Keepin’ it real

Lest you all think my euphoria buoyed me up and I floated away on a cloud of warm fuzzy happiness, I am actually keeping things in the proper check around here according to Murphy’s Law.

The first two day “weekend” I’ve had sans homework or other obligation in 17 weeks was ruined by the lovely head cold my daughter decided to give me.  I have felt extremely miserable for the last 36+ hours.  I am exceedingly thankful however, that the gods of the plague saw fit to wait until this semester was over to bless me with their bounty of snot, aches and pains.  And yet, I have to wish it could have not happened on the first two consecutive days of freedom.

Oh well, like I said, I’m keepin’ it real I guess.  If it weren’t for some misery, how would we know when we were happy?

Damn you Swedish Fish and the sticky sugary goodness you leave behind

*Sigh*  I just have been to the dentist.  Apparently the stress fractures I have on my teeth at my gum line as a symbol of my many youthful years of jaw clenching in response to stress have become something he “can’t like.”  The 4 teeth sporting said fractures had been stable for the past 15 years or so.  Now, 3 of them have developed cavities and need $92 worth of fixing.  Thank goodness for insurance which covers the remaining 75%.

First it was my arthritis in my neck and upper back.  Then my tumor.  Now my teeth.  Geesh! I’m not that old, but apparently a youth and adulthood of stress is beginning to exact it’s price.  Either that, or it must be the Swedish Fish.  I mean, I live a really vanilla life.  I never smoked, almost never drink, and I’ve never been drunk.   Most nights of the week I get at least 7.5 hours of sleep and try to get 8.5 when ever possible.  I take my vitamins, when I remember, which is most the time, because if I forget for too many days I can tell that I begin to feel even more run down than usual.  I don’t exercise as much as I should, which is apparent in my Rubenesque physique, but I’m not superwoman after all and there are only so many hours in a day; what do I sacrifice for exercise time?  Sleep?  Food?  Showering?  Studying?  Attending class?  Doing housework?  Minding the spud does her homework?

So, when I say my worst vices are Pepsi (limited to an average of 1 can per day), two cups of tea per day with 3 teaspoons of sugar each, Swedish Fish (limited to six delectable little fishes per day when I have them, which really isn’t all the time) and one ice cream bar/sandwich/scoop or one tiny snack size candy for dessert 4-5 times a week, I really mean those are my  worst vices.

Okay, you caught me I have one more, I’m a worry wart with a heaping helping of perfectionist.  But I am trying to reform, honestly I am!

So, when the dentist gets on my case convinced that something particular has changed in my habits in just the last 6 months which has caused these 3 cavities then gives me a look like he doesn’t believe me when I can’t think of any significant to change my habits except that I ate about 2 pounds of Swedish Fish between Thanksgiving and February, I get a little miffed.  I mean it.  I am not aware of doing anything new and unusual apart from those fish.  And, in the 4 years I’ve been seeing this dentist, I’ve only had one other cavity in a traditional area.  It was really tiny and that was after having not had dental insurance in almost 3 years and having not seen a dentist in all that time.  Now, three cavities on three damaged teeth all with the same problem all at the same time.  Hmmm.  I admit is is weird, but I don’t think it’s that weird, I mean the teeth were already damaged. Mouth bacteria shit happens, cavities form.  Get off my case dude and get over it.  I’m not a spring chicken.  You’re not the one who has to cut back on your Swedish Fish and sugary drink vices and you’re not the one paying for the repair.

*Sigh*  He’s a really good dentist, though.  Unfortunately he just he also seems to think he knows you better than yourself.  Every time we go to the dentist for the spud he grills me about her sucking her thumb.  While she did use a pacifier until age 3 and a half, I have never seen her or any other evidence to support his belief that she has/is still sucking her thumb, finger or any appendage, toy or bedding.  He also hasn’t seen pictures of her grandmother.  It’s got to be genetic.

Unluckily for me, I have no such convenient excuse.  Bad Janie!  No more fish for you!

The Lament of the Fish Swedish

Oh Swedish Fish,

You tasty dish

You rot my teeth

And the gum beneath

Oh, you I’ll mish

Yeah, well, happy Monday to you and the fish you rode in on.

Update

Thank you to everyone for your prayers and kindly posted comments of support earlier this week.

It has been stressful times at the Jones household these past few days.

The verdict, however, is that there is one of two things wrong with the wonky eye.  One is a kind of optic neuritis.  However, this is unlikely because optic neuritis if left untreated tends to progress to blindness very quickly and if it were some kind of optic neuritis I’d likely already be blind in my left eye so they’d know for sure that’s what it was.  Never the less it is easily and inexpensively treated with prednisone, if caught early, so I’m taking the two week treatment just to be sure that it’s not some unheard of and less quick acting version of neuritis.

No one really expects this to work however, the more likely diagnosis is optic nerve sheath meningioma.  This is where a generally benign tumor grows on the sheath that protects the optic nerve causing vision changes and loss and occasionally protrusion of the eye and pain.  While this type of tumor is generally slow to progress, it is somewhat possible that it could spread to the brain in time.

If, at the end of the course of prednisone, we rule out neuritis and settle for certain on the tumor diagnosis, the specialist feels my best option is to have a 26 day course of radiation treatment.  While there is no urgent need to schedule such treatment, progression of the disease will move slowly, it is possible to lose more vision and run the risk of growth of the tumor if we wait too long to act.  Some people though can apparently go years without significant advancement of the disease.

The specialist tells me that radiation treatment can halt progression and in some cases vision can revert to normal.  However, being a very rare condition, few radiation oncologists have much experience with this kind of treatment and it is unlikely to find anyone close to home who can confidently manage my 26 daily treatments.  The best to hope for is to find a confident doctor in the Big City where I go to University, and in failing there, my next option is to see a physician in the Major Metropolis where I saw the neuro ophthalmologist.  The problem either way is that there is a lot of travel and expense involved, as the 26 treatments must be doled out daily for 5 weeks.  It is out of the question to commute to the Major Metropolis, being some 7 hour drive round trip, not including time for the treatment.  Should I miraculously be able to overcome the distance to and cost of treatment, I’d have to drop out of school for a semester, during which I’d lose funding and possibly my insurance.

The costs associated even with driving to the Big City near my University is still in the range of $175 a week.   Waiting about 6 or 7 months, provided we can find a radiology oncologist there that seems trustworthy, seems to make going this route next summer my best choice as I might be able to maintain full time student status during the treatments as the University only requires 6 credit hours for summer term and many are online.  Then my only worry will be how to afford the 20% of the radiation treatments that my insurance won’t cover, providing they cover the treatment at all.  The neuro ophthalmologist tells me that this type of procedure does tend to be expensive.

The saddest part of all this is that in the summer of 2010 when I first started noticing vision changes my local ophthalmologist did suggest I see the specialist down in the Major Metropolis right away.  However, all tests came back negative, the local radiologist reading my MRI overlooked the changes in my optic nerve sheath and, the local doc thought it might be a fluke reaction to an ordinary virus and may just resolve on it’s own.  Not wanting to be a  hypochondriac, and being a cheap-skate not wanting to spend the $200+ dollars on a trip to the Major Metropolis  I decided to wait and see if it resolved.  We were lulled into a false sense of security, because optic nerve examinations over the fall, winter and spring seemed to show a decrease in swelling.  Unfortunately, the symptoms did not continue to go away, and actually have become somewhat worse than in the initial exam.  While I have to accept I made the decision to wait, I can’t help but wonder if I’d have not felt so complacent if the first MRI had not been misinterpreted.  Perhaps then if the radiologist and physician locally had said you have an abnormal MRI which we don’t have an explanation for, I’d have been more eager to get the second opinion, especially then when I had insurance that would cover everything but a small copay.

When you’ve been healthy all your life and your family has been healthy for generations without bizarre medical complaints, you have a tendency to think, “Oh, this will pass.  Don’t be a baby.”

*Sigh*  Such is life they say.

It is said that the Universe never gives you more than you can handle.  In that case I’m just waiting for that 6-pack of whup-ass I drank to kick in and give me strength, cause it looks like I got yet another truckload of problems to bear.  But first I have to go and do my Spanish homework.  And then my Environmental Health homework and my computer class homework.  Oh, and go to the park and write a paper about the physics properties employed by playground equipment.  And do the laundry.  And get some groceries with the $30 I have left after financing my trip to the Major Metropolis before next pay day on the first of the month.  Oh, and put gas in the Jeep because my economy car that I normally drive goes into the shop next week to have the crack in the manifold fixed so I don’t die of CO or CO2 poisoning while driving to school.  Then help the spud with her homework.  I think I’ll put off washing the dog, taking the raked leaves and yard waste to the dump, and cleaning the bathroom and the rest of the house.   I can probably make TV dinners without actually having to wash dishes.

And that’s all the whining I’m going to do for a bit.  Feel free to throw cheese and play violin music.