And sometimes the Universe gives you a huge neon sign saying, “Don’t go there!”

I can take a hint.  Really.

So, I have to accept that I’m just not supposed to take this classics class.  I’ve tried to sign up for it now for 4 different terms and for one reason or another I’ve never been successful.  I thought (and this is apparently where I always get into trouble…) that this summer I finally succeeded.  I was looking forward to it even.  And then…

Apparently the U.S. government body that makes decisions about college grants said, “Hmn.  Times is tough.  We needs to cut back.  Let’s not offer Pell Grant money in the summer no more.”

And, so now I must drop classics because I can’t afford to pay out of pocket for the course.

My summer is suddenly seeming very empty.  And, that my friends must be the silver lining.  Sometimes Fate does favor fools and unemployed-work-a-holic-crazy-single-mom-pushing-40-students.

And that takes a lot of nerve

True story.

A little over a year ago I purchased a subscription to Disney’s Family Fun Magazine for, well family fun enjoyment.  It was cheap, only $10 for a year (10 or 12 issues) so I figured, what the heck.  There were a lot of crafts and recipes and suggestions for activities I simply just don’t have time or emotional or financial resources for.  So, the magazine became a source of paper dolls for the spud.  Which was still okay, it got enjoyed in some form.  However, when the year ran out, I decided, as the spud gets three other magazines and myself two, we didn’t need another magazine destined to be cut up into paper dolls and let the subscription lapse.

Now, periodically they send me a bill for renewing my subscription.  Generally I just throw it away.  However, yesterday another notice came in the mail and I got to thinking that it seemed as though that subscription should have ended several months ago and yet here I was still getting re-subscription invoices.  Why on Earth were they still pestering me?   Something made me open the one I got yesterday, and, well, let me tell you, even if I was interested in making hot dog race cars and sock puppets and pipe cleaner- whoops! I mean chenille stem- crafts until the second Tuesday of next week when the cows come home, this letter would definitely make me change my mind about renewing a lapsed subscription:

YOUR FINAL OPPORTUNITY TO SETTLE THIS MATTER BY SENDING PAYMENT!

FINAL NOTICE

YOUR ACCOUNT HAS BEEN PLACED IN THE FAMILY FUN MAGAZINE’S BAD DEBT FILE.  WE HAVE SENT YOU 6 OTHER INVOICES WHICH YOU NEVER PAID.

IF OUR LETTERS CROSSED IN THE MAIL, PLEASE FORGIVE US.  UPON PROCESSING YOUR INFORMATION YOUR SERVICE WILL BE RESUMED.

WE ARE RELUCTANT TO CONSIDER MORE SERIOUS COLLECTION MEASURES, BUT WE NEED TO HEAR FROM YOU NOW.  WE AGAIN ASK THAT YOU PAY THE ABOVE INVOICE WITHIN 10 DAYS.  YOU MAY ALSO CONTACT US AT:  PO BOX 37033, BOONE, IA 50037-0033.

100% absolutely just like shown.  Yeah, all in caps, too.  Infuriating.  Yeah, you betcha.  Calculated to be insulting.  I pretty much think so.

Perhaps if I wasn’t so busy I’d have made a connection before, but in the fury of indignation at such a letter, I realized it seemed like I’d seen the a relatively new issue in the spud’s room recently.  So I went on a hunt, and discovered despite never asking to renew my subscription they still appear to be sending issues, at least as of the March issue which arrived several weeks ago.  Generally when you have a magazine subscription they print the expiration date on the label, none going as far back as September 2011 had one.  What was going on here?  Which begs the question: what would possess a company to send at least 7 months of magazines to someone who’d neither asked for them nor was badgered into paying for something they didn’t order after 6 invoices?

But the audacity doesn’t end there, oh, no.  I’m totally astounded that they’d have the gall to put me in a “bad debt file” when I never asked to renew my subscription.  I imagine the reason why they are “reluctant to consider more serious collection measures” is because there is nothing to collect on seeing as I never asked to renew my subscription.  But of course, they seem to have overlooked the key reason that why after 6 invoices I haven’t paid is because I never asked to renew my subscription.  But seeing as they are still sending me issues I didn’t ask for (again I say WTF?!?) they probably think they have a right to ask me to “pay the above invoice within 10 days” hoping I’ll be a sucker and just agree to take on another year of a magazine I don’t want or be too stupid to realize I never asked to renew my subscription and think it’s all my mistake.

So, they “need to hear from [me] now,” eh?  Don’t worry Family Fun Magazine.  Oh, you’ll hear from me.  And, when I’m done contacting you, you’ll have heard more than enough from me.  In fact, every one I know will hear just how much you need to hear from me now.

As our letters never crossed in the mail, and will never cross in the mail in the future, there’s no danger that I’ll ever forgive you.  You can just take your lame little magazine and shove it up your mouse hole.

Some people just have a lot of nerve.

Spudisms #9: Please pass the tortuga noodles

Spud: What are we having for dinner?

Me: Chicken and tortellini noodles.

*Later*

Spud: Are these the turtle noodles?

Me: Turtle noodles? You mean tortellini noodles?

Spud: Yeah. Well, they kinda look like little turtles.

Me: You think so?

Spud: Yeah.

Me: Well, maybe they do sort of. A little.

Oh, and by the way, here’s some Spanish vocabulary trivia. Tortuga is how you say turtle in Spanish. It kinda rolls right of the tongue. Tortuga. Say it with me. Tortuga. Tortuga. Tortuga.

I think I’m loosing my mind.

Apparently I’m barking up the wrong blog theme

So I just happened to notice recently that I get a lot of hits searching for meatloaf related topics.  In fact, searches relating to meatloaf are second only to topics relating to Black Moor fish.  While blogging, for me anyway, is not meant to be a popularity contest, it is fun to see that people have visited you.  It’s even more fun when they leave comments and nominate you for awards.  But, I digress.

If I was trying to be a blog hit-counter-whore, I guess the public is sending me a clear message that I should write more posts about meatloaf and Black Moor fish.  Or perhaps a meatloaf made with Black Moor fish, then I could combine my search totals and triple my hits per post.

Ewww!  Maybe not so much.

Sadly our last Black Moor fish died a couple weeks ago, and I don’t think we’ll be getting any more anytime soon, so I guess the meatloaf topics sans Black Moor fish will have to carry my blog from now on.  That’s probably a blessing in disguise.  I don’t think people would really like Black Moor Meatloaf.  Black Angus Meatloaf though may be worth contemplating.  Strange how changing just one word can take something from disgusting to delicious.

Any way, I’m just rambling and procrastinating at this point, mostly because I have a writing class assignment I have to complete which I so do not want to do.  But, if I want to get any grade other than a zero, I suppose I’d best put on my big girl panties and get at it.

But first I think I’ll thaw some meatloaf for dinner.  Oh, and go feed all the fish we have left that aren’t Black Moor fish.

Happy Monday.

Well now that’s cool….

Upon publishing my last post, WordPress so kindly offered me this quote:

Dreams are illustrations from the book your soul is writing about you. — Marsha Norman

How apropos.  And, it’s a neat quote to boot.

One mystery solved

This morning I’m checking my email and reading blogs.  The spud comes in my room and stands staring at me a while.

Me:  Yes.  May I help you?

Spud:  I know where your blue cup is.

Me:  The one that’s been missing all these weeks?  The one I kept asking if you knew where it was?

Spud:  Yeah.

Me:  Well.  Where is it?

Spud:  In my toy box.

Me:  You don’t say.  Will you go get it for me.

Spud:  Sure.

*Skips off to her room*

Spud producing the very missing cup proudly:  See!

Me:  Ah.  Yup.  That’s my missing cup.  What was it doing in your toy box?

*Shrugs*

Me:  How’d it get there?

*Shrugs*

Me:  Why didn’t you tell me it was there all the other times I was looking for it and asked if you’d seen it?

*Shrugs*

Me: *sighs*  Well, have you seen the other one just like it that’s also missing?

*Nods vigorously*

Me:  Well, where is that one?

Spud:  In my toy box.

Me:  Well, why don’t you go get it?

Spud:  Okay.

Sure enough, she appears with the second missing cup.  What I don’t get is why now all of the sudden they appear.  What I also don’t understand is that she’s normally the kind of kid you can’t shut up, now this morning she’s the queen of monosyllabic sentences.

Well, at least that’s one mystery solved.